Seeds and God’s Love

Early this spring, I noticed that before the leaves are formed, the seeds are created for some trees. A tree prioritizing seeds before any other growth is meaningful. Interestingly, the name of this tree is tree of heaven. 

I walked a little further and found the same type of tree. This tree's leaves had come and gone, and the tree hung on to its seeds all through the winter. The seeds were the recipients of the tree's first energy and the seeds were the last thing the tree clung to.

At the time, one of my dear aunts was in her last weeks of a long and courageous battle with illness, and I was thinking about her. The seeds clinging to the tree reminded me of how our Heavenly Father loves us. He loves us from before our birth and is with us until our last breath. His name is the Alpha and Omega- the Beginning and the End. These titles are descriptive of God's role in the creation of the earth, but also describe how He loves each one of us. He loves us from the beginning until the end. No other person loves us as deeply and cares for us from the beginning until the end, as the Lord does. This song captures that sentiment: "No One Ever Cared For Me Like Jesus" by Steffany Gretzinger. 

Since I was watching my phone closely for updates on my aunt's condition, watching spring flowers bloom felt like a lesson in God's love for us. All year the trees work to bring forth seeds and fruit. The flowers emerge tightly bundled like a swaddled newborn, then gradually open with fragrance and beauty to become a fruit with seeds. 

After I took the picture below of apple blossoms, I came inside. I hadn't noticed the reflection of an apple in the blossom until I was inside. Can you see it? The flower and the fruit, the beginning and the end, both held by God's light and love, as each of us are, from our beginning until our end.  

I wanted to share one more story about God's love for each of his children. This experience took place at an amusement park, not a place I was expecting to be meaningful. My work paid for our family to go, and my kids were beyond excited to go. We had never been there before as a family. I was surprised that I genuinely enjoyed it, mostly seeing my kids' big smiles and their excitement. At one point, we were waiting in a long line with a crowd around us, and to get a mental break from the crowd, I looked up at the sun coming through the leaves. The sunlight brings out each leaf's intricate design, the veins, and the edges of the leaves. 

 In Japanese, they have a special word that describes the harmony and tranquility of sunlight filtering through tree leaves, "komorebi." The wind swaying the leaves while the sun shines through them is beautiful, and watching the dance of the leaves, sunshine, and breeze never grows old. I felt the Spirit tell me that the Lord looks at his children this way, and sees each one with complete love and deep appreciation, never tiring of seeing us. In His eyes, we are a treasure. Like I enjoyed the dance between the sun, wind, and leaves, God sees the friendships and the love between his children as a beautiful dance that is pleasing to watch. We tend to focus on outward appearances and the differences that separate us. The Lord sees our hearts and we are each of deep worth, beauty, and great value to Him. This song, "Belovedness" by Sarah Kroger, was new to me this year. I love the words of the chorus. It reminded me of my dear aunt and how the Lord must have smiled when He made her. I think He smiled when He made you and me too!

He says, "You're mine, I smiled when I made you.

I find you beautiful in every way

My love for you is fierce and unending

I'll come to find you, whatever it takes

My beloved, it's time to own your belovedness."

I hope that whatever challenges you are facing, you also feel God's immense love for you. When you feel the sunlight warming your skin, or see the trees' leaves dancing in the wind, or hear the birds chirping, know they are all part of God's love for you. As He cares for the birds and the flowers, He will care for you. Like He knows every line on every leaf, He knows every detail about you- the hairs on your head, your fingerprint, and what is in your heart and how to heal it. He is the only true source of peace and healing!

He is Singing Over You

The day after Christmas, my kids and I went on a walk. While we were walking, we saw a lot of birds. Birds flying around, chirping, and singing after storms have past are happy and cheerful. I told the girls, "Look how happy the birds sound!" My daughter said, "They're happy because it was Christmas yesterday!" I thought that was cute.  

As we were watching the birds, one of my children asked, "If people get married, why don't animals get married?" What a thoughtful and adorable question. We talked about how some birds are faithful to each other their whole lives. In the moment, I only remembered swans, ducks, and geese. I told the kids that birds communicate and that maybe they agree with each other to stay together their whole lives. When we got home, we looked up which animals mate for life, and found that 90% of all birds mate for life. Wow! Other mammals that mate for life are wolves, coyotes, foxes, beavers, mice, and gibbons. Gibbon apes have a song that they sing to each other. They sing the song when they take care of each other. When they are apart, their partner sings their song to orient them back home to them. Over the many sounds of a tropical forest, they can distinguish the voice of their partner. That is amazing. God is singing over each of us to help us orient ourselves back to home to Him.  

One of my favorite songs is Matt Redman's "The Father's Song." 

The Father's Song

I have heard so many songs

Listened to a thousand tongues

But there is one

That sounds above them all

The Father's song

The Father's love

You sung it over me and for eternity

It's written on my heart

Heaven's perfect melody

The Creator's symphony

You are singing over me

The Father's song

Heaven's perfect mystery

The king of love has sent for me

And now you're singing over me

The Father's song

Jesus explained, "My sheep listen to my voice, I know them, and they follow me." John 10:27 Can we hear the Lord's voice and distinguish it from all the other sounds and voices?

One of the things that helps me hear his voice is to express gratitude for Jesus, for who He is, for the many things He has done for me, the miracles and blessings throughout my life. 

Jesus is the Creator's symphony over us. Jesus descending to the deepest places of pain and suffering for us and overcoming through his love is His melody, His song over us.

The Creator's symphone over us is also in nature. When you see flowers swaying, or hear a river's calming sound as it tumbles over rocks, or hear the birds joy in the morning that they survived another night, remember that they are all part of God's symphony, his song of love over you. 

Our song to God is to place ourselves in His hands and do His will. Your love for God, your trust in placing yourself in his hands, with whatever challenges that are yours creates a beautiful melody for Him. 

Wild Olive Trees Testimony of Jesus

 A few days ago I was discouraged. I went on a walk. The only person I don't feel bad about burdening with grievances is the Lord. He understands perfectly and He gives the wisest, most unexpected, and perfect advice. Whenever I am a tangled mess and come to Jesus for help, He gives me peace and understanding. When you feel his Spirit speaking to you, that is His voice to you. He is closer than we realize. Jesus is truly the Wonderful Counselor and Prince of Peace that Isaiah wrote about. 

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder; and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, the mighty God, The Everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there is no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice henceforth even forever." Isaiah 9:6-7. I like the last sentence of Isaiah 9:7 from the New Living Translation. "The passionate commitment of the Lord of Heaven's Armies will make this happen!" Jesus has a passionate commitment to each of us. 

I stopped to see a small wild olive tree, a russian olive, that was reaching its branches out to the walking trail, almost like the tree wanted to be noticed. A couple years ago, I gained a love for wild olive trees after observing they have thorns. Plants with thorns are usually protecting some unique, special gifts. I didn't know wild olive trees had thorns- it felt like there was a message here. The wild olive tree reminded me of Jesus' crown of thorns, and his prayer in an olive grove for us. I began looking for wild olive trees, and nibbling on the edible little fruits that are sweet and tart. Then, in the spring, I learned wild olive flowers are yellow and shaped like a star or cross. The flowers are also sweet to eat- at least this particular variety is. 

The flowers reminded me of Jesus. Yellow symbolizes hope. The star or cross shape also reminded me of the star when Jesus was born and of the cross that He would die on for us.

A few days ago when I needed some peace and clarity, I stopped to say hello to the wild olive tree that was reaching out to the walking trail. Touching its velvety soft leaves, I looked for the thorns and didn't see them until I felt their sharp prick at the end of a small new branch. The thorns were growing leaves! Almost all the thorns were covered in a soft velvet and growing into branches with soft velvety leaves. They had grown into branches that would bear fruit.   

My heart understood what the Lord's message was: thorns don't stay thorns, they will bear fruit with time as they reach for more light. Jesus' painful crown of thorns bore fruit- the fruit is us. Jesus is our Light and the Truth. 

I thought about how thorns or trials prepare you to have more understanding for others. Jesus understands us perfectly because of all the suffering He went through—the garden of Gethsemane and His intercession for us, the scourging, the crown of thorns, and the crucifixion. He not only went through all that suffering, but Jesus overcame it, triumphing over all of it. He gave perfect love and forgiveness as he suffered. What a wonderful God we worship!

I am the recipient of blessings from trials others have experienced as well. One of our children had to have surgery at birth. The pediatric surgeon who invented the surgery has an interesting back story. He was a medical student in Mexico when his son was born with a life-threatening condition. He traveled with his baby to a pediatric surgeon in Boston, hoping that there would be some surgery or anything that would save his son. Despite the huge efforts, he still lost his baby boy, then lost his marriage too. He interned with the pediatric surgeon in Boston that he had taken his baby to see. He became a pediatric surgeon, and invented a procedure that greatly improved the quality of life for thousands of children born with challenges. He has taught thousands of surgeons his approach and techniques, and instilled something else that was new, unheard of. He tells the pediatric surgeons that he trains that they are responsible for their patients follow up care for life- so that they can learn the sequelae of the surgeries they performed- good or bad, and learn from their mistakes. One of the things he tells families is that a tragedy can become the impetus for much good. And finding meaning in your suffering makes it bearable. I am so thankful for the direction he took with his heartbreak, that it didn't make him bitter, but instead more humble and focused on helping others. 

Whatever difficult situation you are going through, the painful thorns will bear good fruit with time as you reach for more light and truth. Christ's crown of thorns bore fruit—it is you and me and the hope we have in Him and because of Him. He is our Light and helps us find our way.

God Knows Every Leaf and Every Bird

Several years ago, I was driving to work in a confused, worried state. Earlier that day my husband and I had been to the maternal fetal medicine specialists, I was pregnant. They told us of the serious problems they were seeing and the lifelong ramifications for our baby. It was fall, and the mountains were covered with large patches of trees turning orange, red, and yellow. As I was driving to work, feeling worried and overwhelmed, the thought came to my mind, "God knows each leaf, their colors, and every line in every leaf. He knows the baby you carry and every part of her and will take care of her."  I took comfort in that thought, God knows each leaf and every line in every leaf and seeing the colors of the leaves on the mountainside. It was a pivotal moment for me, where fear was beginning to be replaced with trust in God, at least in this one area of my life. That was several years ago, and our daughter is doing wonderfully, even though she is still affected by conditions from her birth. She has been taken care of by God even before she was born, and will continue to be. We all are cared for by Him. The Lord continues teaching me to trust Him more in every area of my life. 

My Dad has taught a birds class for the last 3 summers to the grandchildren. It is rewarding to learn about birds, their songs and calls, and how they nest and raise their young.  

 

How wonderful it is that God created birds in all their varieties. Some birds migrate thousands of miles every year. How mind boggling and awesome it is that God provides for birds throughout their migration journey- food, shelter, water. Each bird has unique ways of nesting and different foods they eat, and yet God takes care of all of them! Even with the changing world- the increasing pollution and building, God still provides places for birds to rest and regain energy along their journey. God provides for me and you in our life journey too- wherever we are!

While on a walk, I was thinking about how miraculous God's detailed care for birds is when I saw a birdhouse. Seeing the birdhouse of plywood and nails made me pause. The birdhouse was sturdily made but held no comparison to God's miraculous provisions. 

Nests are made by birds to fit the number of chicks they can raise and their body size, and the nest is positioned at the right height so that their young can be protected from predators but also survive their first flight/fall from the nest.  I feel like a bird that grew up in a birdhouse, and now I'm being taken care of by God, and it is so much better! Some of me misses the structures I grew up in, like the people  that knew my name, and gave me positive feedback when I came in my best clothing to church. It is different being away from that structure of support. 

Knowing that the Lord takes care of us, wants to be close with us, and speaks to us directly is a treasure, more than I knew was possible. Having a close relationship with the Lord is within our reach!

Sometimes I think that as long as I'm healthy, and my children are healthy, I'm OK. Or as long as we have a stable job and income,  we'll get through things. Or as long as I have a good group of friends or community to go through life together, I'll get through whatever comes. If my family relationships are good, then I'm doing well. Yet only God is 100% worthy of being the center of our faith, trust, and love. He is the center of our life.  Whatever we place our trust in other than God will eventually disappoint us. God finds ways and experiences to teach us that our trust should be in Him, instead of any other thing, person, or belief. 

When we face confusing, difficult situations, only the Lord has the perfect love and wisdom to give the best answer. God is who our life questions should be directed to. Other people may have special training, education, callings at church, or have gone through similar situations, but only the Lord knows everything about you and your situation. He knows every detail about you even before you were inside your mother's womb, and every experience you've had since. The Lord is who we should look to for answers. 

I have heard church leaders say, "Write down your questions and bring them to general conference, and you'll receive the answers you seek." They are standing in the way of people asking God directly, placing themselves in God's place. We lack faith, we sin way too often, we are too focused in the world and its trappings, and it can be hard to hear the voice of the Lord or his Spirit talking to us. Instead of teaching church members to look to the leaders of the church for answers; what should be taught is faith, repentance, and developing a personal relationship with the Lord. Only the Lord, and a relationship with the Lord will carry us through any challenge. Another leader asked, "If you leave the church, where will you go?" The question itself reveals a lack of faith in God. We can all go directly to our Creator, God, to Jesus without intermediaries. The one who created the leaves and the mountains, and who provides for each bird is anxious to talk to you and help you directly. 

I am thankful that people find peace and comfort wherever they can in these difficult times, in a church, outside in nature, or in music. We all need more peace and guidance. If where our peace and stability comes from has anything that isn't true in it, it will crumble and fall eventually. Jesus is the only one 100% worthy of our faith and trust, and being the center of our life. Jesus waits for us to come to Him directly- the source of all truth. He has given everything to bridge the gap between us. No one is more invested than Jesus is in your happiness and growth. He said, "I am the Way, the Truth, the Life, no one comes to the Father except by me." John 14:6

Passover Thoughts

I went with my daughter on an elementary field trip to a farm. One of the activities was watching a sheep get sheared. The sheep didn't fight back, it was as if the sheep knew its shearing was necessary. The sheep submissively allowed itself to be flipped from one side to the other on the ground, while hundreds of children and teachers watched, chattering away indifferently. Seeing the sheep, Isaiah's words about Jesus came to mind, "He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth." Isaiah 53:7 Jesus was the strongest of us all, yet gave himself a sacrifice for us.

It is interesting that Jesus is the Lamb of God and also our Shepherd. He knows about being a lamb and about going to slaughter. He knows about afflictions and sorrows. He knows how to counsel and help us because of what he went through for us- the perfect Shepherd. 

"For he grew up before him like a young plant, and like a root out of dry ground; he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief, and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned- every one- to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all." Isaiah 53:1 ESV

Everything wicked and terrible found its complete opposite and answer in Jesus. Jesus turned upside down the evils that were done to Him. He also turns upside down the evils that we may experience.  Unlike the world that wrongly judged and condemned Jesus to death, Jesus did not come to condemn, but to save- to give new life.  Instead of facing a trial of false accusations alone, like Jesus did, Jesus is our Advocate before the Father. He pleads for mercy for each of us with his own life- though there's plenty we've done wrong and could be accused of. 

Instead of giving us the rightful punishment for our sins, He takes our pain and punishment to bear himself. He took on himself the consequences of our sins and gives us freedom and a new life. He is merciful to those who believe in Him and follow Him. He is full of love, light, mercy, and justice. 

When Jesus prayed, "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven," He was the beginning of the answer to that prayer.  Jesus brought the Father's kingdom and will to earth through his selfless sacrifice for us. In Jesus' humble willingness to take on himself our sins and forgive us, we see how Heaven operates. It is entirely different and opposite from the selfishness, pride, and evil corruption so present in our world and its leaders today. Jesus is our perfect example. 

Last fall I was making grape juice. The grapes went into the process perfectly shaped, beautiful blue globes full of sweet juice. When they came out, they were entirely spent, all the juice had been taken out of them. Jesus told us about grapes and wine, to tell us how far his love for us would take him.

At Jesus' last Passover, or the Last Supper, Luke records the following, "After supper, he took another cup of wine and said, “This cup is the new covenant between God and his people—an agreement confirmed with my blood, which is poured out as a sacrifice for you." Luke 22:20 NLT

Jesus knew the terrible ordeal ahead of him. His reassurances and explanations to the apostles were beyond their comprehension until they had witnessed the Lord's death and miraculous resurrection. By the time he had suffered through Gethsemane, the scourging, trial, and crucifixion, Jesus had given everything he could for us. He was entirely spent and completely perfect in his love for us and his Father. 

Isaiah compared Jesus' sacrifice for us to treading the wine press alone. 

"Who is this who comes from Edom, in crimsoned garments from Bozrah, he who is splendid in his apparel, marching in the greatness of his strength? It is I, speaking in righteousness, mighty to save." Why is your apparel red, and your garments like his who treads in the winepress? I have trodden the winepress alone, and from the peoples no one was with me; I trod them in my anger and trampled them in my wrath; their lifeblood spattered on my garments and stained all my apparel. For the day of vengeance was in my heart, and my year of redemption had come. I looked, but there was no one to help; I was appalled, but there was no one to uphold; so my own arm brought me salvation, and my wrath upheld me." Isaiah 63:1-5 ESV 

(Edom the unbelieving nation southeast of Jerusalem, typifies the world in its contempt for the promises of God. Bozrah is Edom's capitol city)

"Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me enough to die for me, oh it is wonderful, wonderful to me." The song, "I Stand All Amazed," captures many of our feelings. 

In our mind, we know the Lord gave his life for us. Yet when challenges come, feeling distant from the Lord, and maybe forgotten is so easy to fall into. The Lord compares our relationship to him as that of a bridegroom and bride- close, protective, watchful. 

It is instructive to see pairs of geese or ducks, and how loyal and protective they are to their partner. A few times I have observed male ducks standing on guard, and protecting their female duck while they eat. They stand watch- looking in all directions, ready to warn of any danger while their mate has her head down, eating. It is tender to see so much courage and dedication in a small duck or bird.

A few days ago,  I was walking and thinking/praying, wondering what to do about personal challenges.  I was feeling off and a bit scattered, and I doubted my ability to receive an answer to prayer. I saw 2 Canadian Geese on my walk. Canadian geese squawk to coordinate their movements as they fly, but this time, they weren't moving; they were mostly standing in one place, and one was squawking at the other. They were just a few feet apart- one on a tiny hill and the other just below it. I wondered what message the goose on the little hill was trying to communicate to its partner below; it was obviously standing guard. The other goose looked relaxed, although it couldn't see the other one. It had its head down, eating young spring grass. As I watched them for a minute, wondering what their squawking communications meant, the thought came, "It means, "I am here. I am close by." As those words came into my mind, they hit my heart. It felt like the Lord's message to me. The challenges are there, but the Lord is close by watching over you and me, and it will be OK. He speaks to us not because we have earned it, or are worthy, but because of who He is. He is our Shepherd. 

Jesus stands watch over us- He is much closer than we can see. If we are listening, we'll hear his reassurances that He is near, He is close by and protecting us. How much comfort Jesus' presence brings! The geese standing watch for each other also made me think of when Jesus asked his disciples to stand watch while he prayed in Gethsemane. How much Jesus needed someone to stand watch with Him that night as he prayed and made intercession for our sins. He must have known the terrible events that lay ahead of him and would have drawn comfort from the presence of his friends. Though Jesus was left alone when He needed it most, Jesus is always willing to walk with us and guide us through our challenges.

Worldly chaos and trouble increase, but we can rest in His care- knowing Jesus is watching over us. The Lord will send encouragement and reassurance that He is near. Having given all for you on the cross and in Gethsemane, Jesus is close by, still loving and protecting you. We find many personal reminders that our Lord who loved us enough to leave his throne on high, is still close by and aware of every doubt and trial in our lives. His love for you has not changed- you were worth it to Jesus at the cross, and you're still worth it to Him today. 

"All heaven will praise your great wonders, Lord . . . For who in all of heaven can compare with the Lord?  . . . You rule the oceans. You subdue their storm-tossed waves. . . The heavens are yours, and the earth is yours: everything in the world is yours- you created it all.  . . . Powerful is your arm! Strong is your hand! Your right hand is lifted high in glorious strength. Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne. Unfailing love and truth go before you. Happy are those who hear the joyful call to worship, for they will walk in the light of your presence, Lord. They rejoice all day long in your wonderful reputation. They exult in your righteousness. You are their glorious strength. It pleases you to make us strong. Yes, our protection comes from the Lord, and he the Holy One of Israel, has given us our king." Psalm 89:5-18 NLT

Peace in the Fire

Whatever you are going through, the Lord knows how to help you, and he delights in being invited to be part of your life. When others don't know or understand all that you face, the Lord knows and is waiting for you to ask and invite him into your life and challenges. In Him, we find our life's answers and joy. The moments that make you wonder what good could ever come of this, God will make something good out of it. He is amazing at weaving our life story into something beautiful. 

Part of why I write is because I need reminders of God's love. In the working, waiting, and praying for God's help, it helps to remember that the Lord has always come through. Every time!

My disclaimer is that we are a regular family with plenty of ordinary problems. There is nothing special about us, other than that God loves us, like He loves you- and it is an amazing kind of love.  His love is there for you and me, He never wavers. I tell of his miracles because I know He has been there for us and will be there again. 

When our daughter who needed several surgeries was 3 years old, an herb started growing in our yard, outside our front door. This beautiful rosette was special I could tell, but I didn't know what plant it was. That summer on an herb walk, I learned this was mullein, and one of its uses is to help the conditions our daughter was born with. I was so thankful the Lord put it there, right outside our door for us to learn about and use. Not many herbs taste good, most are bitter, and she was a toddler asserting her independence on what she would eat. Babies with special needs come with a fighter spirit, and she definitely had that. I knew giving her an herb by mouth wouldn't work.  I asked the Lord how to use the mullein and he told me I could put the herb in her bath, and pray for it to help her.  She had a bath every day after her medical care. My daughter and I collected a soft mullein leaf and a few flowers for bath time a few times a week, it was like a little toy boat to her. I would kneel outside of the bathtub and thank the Lord for her, for His love, for the mullein, and ask the Lord to help her fully enjoy all the good things in life. Without me saying anything, our daughter would kneel in the water, and join her little hands to mine as I prayed. This continued for a year or two, and I believe it did help. Bathtime prayers were special.  Recently, I was on another herb walk and the teacher said putting herbs in baths is one of the best ways to give children herbs. I smiled, because that's what the Lord told me to do with the mullein years ago, I had not heard it taught anywhere else before. I will return to the mullein and the bathtime prayers toward the end of this story.

When our daughter was first born, she needed some medical tubing, it had to stay in place for the first year. If it was pulled out, it would mean a visit to the emergency room at the children's hospital. After the surgery where the tubing was placed the day she was born, one doctor saw the picture of our family taped to her incubator. He said, "She has 5 brothers and one sister?! You're going to have to figure out a way to keep that tubing safe!" Each nurse seemed to have a different idea of how to take care of the tubing. Contradicting suggestions from the nurses about how to handle the tubing, let me know that this was rare enough, they didn't really know.  A nurse reassured us, "You will figure this out." Tucking the tubing into a zippered pajama during the cold winter months when she wasn't mobile yet worked.  But summer was around the corner and footsie pajamas wouldn't work in hot weather. Praying about how to keep the medical tubing secure and safe in summer temperatures kept me up many nights. I wanted her to be able to enjoy the outdoors in the summer, along with the rest of our family and prayed to know what to do.

One day as I was pulling clothes out of the dryer, and holding a onesie in my hand, the Lord gave me the idea to add a pocket to a onesie, they were already a part of her clothing. For a couple days, I thought about adding a pocket to a onesie, it would need to be secure, with something like snaps, but also soft, stretchy, and breathable. A few days later, again while doing laundry, I felt the Lord show me that if the bottom part of a onesie was cut up and sewn to make a pocket, the snaps would serve as the secure opening/closing of the pocket and keep the tubing in place. We made a pocket, sewed the pocket onto another onesie, and it worked. With 7 children, we had a lot of onesies, so I wouldn't need to buy anything. The pocket onesies became her everyday clothing. I was beyond thankful for the Lord's help,  I knew the idea had 100% come from Him! Our baby was getting more active and figuring out how to grab and pull on things like the tubing. The pocket onesies worked great, it helped me feel at ease about our many children holding our baby, and the tubing never got pulled out accidentally. When other people didn't know what would work, the Lord knew and helped us. He does that over and over again for us. What a loving Father he is!

Our church friends and family helped us make pocket onesies for the different sizes she would need as she grew quickly that first year. Every day when I put her clothes on her, I remembered that Heavenly Father had helped us figure things out and that our friends had helped us. After the first year and a half, she no longer needed tubing or special clothing, she had gone through the repair surgeries. Fast forward a couple years, the parent support group at our children's hospital was making gift baskets for new parents of children with similar conditions. The surgeon's office asked if we would bring a few of the pocket onesies for the new parent baskets. My wonderful neighbor helped me make them this time. I put butterflies on them, with the words "hope" and "love" on the butterfly wings. 

The day when we were finishing the onesies, for our daughter's bathtime prayer, where we put mullein leaves in the bathwater, we prayed for the new babies with similar conditions. As I thought of the new babies and families, I remembered what we had been through and knew the new families would face many of the same challenges. Learning about diagnoses we had never heard of before, and hoping our little baby would be able to still have a good life. Scary infections,  difficulties with dressing changes, ordering and praying for boxes of medical supplies to arrive before we ran out, many hours on the phone arguing with insurance over medical bills, multiple surgeries and hospital stays, and taking care of our children at home while we were at the hospital, it felt overwhelming many times. Family relationships would change out of necessity, and work demands would have to be adjusted. Very little would be smooth sailing. Only the Lord knew how to get through it all. The Lord helped us in many little and big miracles. He got us through it- every single worry was taken care of and more. The Lord will take care of these new babies and their families, as he has taken care of us. Our daughter saw my tears flowing freely into the bathwater as we prayed for the new families and their babies. The tears were for what the new families and babies had ahead of them, and also tears for what we had been through. She began pouring drops of the bathwater mixed with my tears on top of my head, holding her little hands on the top of my head as if she were giving me a blessing. Silently, without saying a word, she held her wet hands on my head for several seconds. After her bath was done, I was folding the onesies and praying again. For a split second, I saw these babies as spirits coming to earth. These children had the effect of an explosion of light and love. It was like an atomic bomb powerfully rippling outward in all directions with beautiful light, love, and clarity. Their willingness to face their specific challenges brought so much light to everyone around them. That love and light washed over me, and I felt a deep, deep peace. The Lord is working in the challenges, they are not in vain. Even in the overwhelming difficulties, He is working in our favor. He took all my worries, grief, and frustration- and replaced them with his deep peace that everything would work out, and He would take care of us. A knowing that He had been there for us, loving us through every difficulty replaced any sorrow and tension I had felt. 

Later that same day of the bath time prayer for other babies like our child, we were put on pre-evacuation alert. Forest fires close to our home were growing rapidly,  and by afternoon it was a mandatory evacuation. We had a few hours- that was a big blessing. Some people in the path of wildfires only have a few minutes. We gathered our children, and a few belongings, along with the special onesies and medical supplies, and evacuated our home that afternoon. The peace the Lord gave me earlier in the day carried me.  My normal reaction would be fear and stress, but the Lord helped me understand He would take care of us as He has in the past. He knew what I needed before I did. I felt unusually calm as we gathered our family and drove away from our home with the eery darkness of smoke and fire growing on the mountain behind us. I have wondered since if loving and praying for others is part of having Jesus' peace.  

It was interesting watching our neighborhood pack up, some of the people that we thought would be in a panic were peaceful, while others were understandably so overwhelmed. During the 10-day fire evacuation, there were still moments of worry, but the Lord took care of us 100%, and every need was met. Our family was so kind, generous, and willing to help. One of my sisters bravely drove over to help us pack up and evacuate. Another sister thoughtfully bought a birthday cake and pizza to celebrate my son's birthday which was that very day. We stayed at my parent's home and we felt in their kindness the Lord's love. The timing worked out, they were on vacation. My brother took time off his busy work and family schedule and brought us dinner. Friends and family I hadn't heard from for years called to see if we were OK and offer help. We were so thankful for the firefighters who stayed behind and fought the fires. There were miracles in the fires too, the fires didn't advance and destroy our little town as they could have. The wind was blowing towards our town, and there were plenty of dry trees and fuel in the path of the fire but somehow the fire turned away from our town- it was a miracle. The prayers of our community were answered. We came back 10 days later, expecting severe smoke damage, but were surprised to find everything was OK. We changed the air filters and vacuumed the carpets, but our home was OK. The mountaintop where the fire stopped unexpectedly was renamed Miracle Mountain. 

During the evacuation, we were the recipients of much love from neighboring communities- they donated all kinds of items for the evacuees- towels, food, water bottles, hygiene items, and even pet food. There was a warehouse full of donated goods, organized like a store- with aisles, and pallets loaded with useful items. We were doing OK, but our neighbors told us we had to go see the donation center. When we arrived, we were welcomed by volunteers, who gave my husband and I a shopping cart, and asked us to please fill it up. It was a sacred feeling to see so many donations from our neighboring communities and to be on the receiving end of their love. We took food, toilet paper, and towels- which we had forgotten to pack. I have two cousins who lost their homes to forest fires. My heart goes out to those whose homes were in the path of forest fires that did not stop, whose homes were destroyed, despite the prayers, and the love present, and who are still rebuilding several years later. These are life changing events for sure. 

We don't know why things happen, but we know that in the end, God works the challenges to bless us. He is there- in every challenge, in every trial. He never leaves us alone! Even in the difficulties He is working to bless us. Praise God for his wonderful love and care! There aren't enough words to tell how wonderful and loving our Jesus is! Have you felt the Lord carrying you in your trials?

Consider the lilies

I frequently need the Lord's help- trouble seems to be all around us, and it's hard keeping the trouble in the world from getting inside me. Walks are good times to talk to Jesus. He is generous to help me every time I come to Him all knotted up inside- which is often. Jesus is a Wonderful Counselor and Prince of Peace, it is true! Sometimes I try to speed up a bit as I walk, embarrassed that everyone is passing me. Then I hear the Lord tell me, "Slow down! You're going too fast!" There are answers to prayers in the slower moments, I need those moments of understanding. The Lord created meaning and beauty everywhere. We are literally swimming in a deep rich ocean of the Lord's creations. As we walk every day, you and I are passing stars and galaxies in miniature forms. Much of the time we are oblivious to the beauty the Lord created around us. Too hurried, too busy with our lists of things to do. 

I watched a video about a gardener that made a beautiful garden and opened it up for the public to enjoy. He said that the best way to experience the garden was alone, and that it made him thankful to see people thoughtfully enjoying his garden. 

A couple years ago, I was praying over a family trial, job loss. Thanks be to God, everything has worked out. Noticing how trees handle loss- a broken branch, made me think. I wrote about it a couple years ago here.

When pine trees lose branches, the wound causes the tree to reach down to its roots to draw on the healing properties deep inside it. It oozes medicinal pine sap, which heals its wound. Pine sap can be gathered, heated, and mixed with oil and beeswax to make a healing salve for wounds. The tree's wound brings forth healing properties from the depths of the tree's roots. The difficult things in our lives make us reach deeper to our roots for healing, for Jesus, our Master Healer, the Balm of Gilead. We find Him there- waiting for us, in the hurting and the praying. The trial becomes part of our healing if it brings us to know the Lord better. For some people, their challenge uniquely prepared them to understand and bless others in similar trials. They are kinder, more thankful, and more generous after having gone through a trial. 

When branches are broken off of the aspen, the aspen tree also heals its wound. The shape that is left in the aspen's bark where a limb was broken is an eye. The Lord showed me that where there is a  loss, is the opportunity for eyes to see more clearly. To see more of the Lord's hand. To reach upwards more than before. Our trials make us see God moving in our lives. In the trials we see that He has been there all the time.  Unbelief is more easily peeled away from our eyes when we are praying for the Lord's help to survive a trial. We see with more faith. We see others with renewed appreciation for the trials they have gone through.

On a hike with my kids this summer, we noticed a maple tree with an irregular hole in it where a branch broke off the tree.  There were other spots on the tree where the bark had completely grown over a broken limb, and the tree bark was already beginning to close this hole too. A rock was sticking out of this particular hole in the tree. I explained to the kids that eventually tree bark will cover up the hole, and that rock will be in the center of the wood. It will make a weakness in the tree, making it more vulnerable to break in wind storms, and die from bugs and disease. I looked up at the tree branches, some branches were already dead while others were alive. My son reached up and started trying to pull the rock out of the hole, it hadn't occurred to me to try. After a few minutes of struggle, we got it out. Behind it was another rock, then another. Close to 20 rocks had been stuffed in the tree- some pebbles, others the size of mandarin oranges. The hole reached the center of the tree, and it was packed with rocks. We were able to get most of the rocks out.

Like the tree, we too can have a hole in our heart, maybe from loss, or from being worn down and joy sapped from our life. It might be the trials loved ones are going through, or seeing the wicked state our world is in. The enemy of our spirit, the devil, can make these things become bitter, like a rock in our hearts. Sometimes it is many bitter rocks in our hearts, taking up a big part of our energy. The bitterness can make joy and the fruits of the Spirit hard to feel. The rocks in our hearts have to come out, the bitterness rejected and expulsed. Jesus is waiting for us to give him the burdens, we weren't intended to carry them all. If we ask, He can help us understand what happened, I wrote about an experience with that here. Jesus' love and forgiveness can heal the wounds in our hearts.  He replaces the bitterness with his love. We can ask him to do that. "Lord, please take this bitterness out of my heart. In the hole that is left behind, please fill it with your light and love." He is the one who gives us healing, joy, and hope. Time and time again Jesus is willing to do that for us. What a wonderful friend we have in Jesus! 

Wild olive trees along a trail have drawn my attention. Their branches were reaching out, wanting to interact with the people who passed it by. In the winter I first noticed the thorns on the wild olive branches. They were more visible because the leaves were gone. The thorns reminded me of Jesus' crown of thorns. For our sake, he was crowned king of the cursed, king of the sinners- me and you. In a grove of olive trees, he suffered for our sins. Crushed for our transgressions, like the olives are crushed to make oil. This spring for the first time I saw the yellow flowers that emerged with the olive tree's velvety sage-green leaves. The yellow flowers are in the shape of a cross. One of my kids said the flowers look like the star of Bethlehem. Yellow has always meant hope- which Jesus is to us. He is why we have hope. Jesus is the personification of love and forgiveness. At his core, Jesus is so purely love and selflessness, that he was able to conquer sin and death- our enemies. He gave his life for us! Because of Him we can be forgiven and forgive others. With His stripes we are healed! The wild olive tree testifies of Jesus! 

In turning our hearts to Jesus, we begin to see that He has been caring for us even in the smallest details in our lives. In the spring I saw a tree with delicate tiny pink flowers and leaves that were so tiny, I couldn't see them until I used the zoom on my camera. Each flower is about the size of a chia seed.  They were perfectly made miniature bouquets. I used an app to look it up and it is a tamarisk tree.

Matthew and Luke record Jesus saying "Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? . . . But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Matthew 6:28-30, 33. Other translations of that verse say, "Learn from the way the wild flowers grow." or "Think about how the flowers of the field grow."  Matt 6:28. The plants have something to teach us.

Why would the Lord make the tiniest flowers so perfect, when most of us can't see the details? Maybe it's because He is a God who is in the details- all the little moments that no one else notices. The Creator who made those tiny flowers notices every detail about you, your hair, your fingerprints, your smile, what is in your heart, because you are His child- you are more loved than the flowers. You are a priceless treasure to Jesus. There is nothing too small for Him to notice when it comes to His children. 

When Jesus says to follow him, He knows by experience the sacrifice it will be to live Our Father's will- selflessly forgiving, following the Spirit, speaking truth when prompted. Take heart in knowing that every detail of your life, your circumstances, your efforts at following Jesus is known to Him. 

All of nature praises God. He is a wonderful Father giving gifts when we least expect it. He answers prayers in His own way and His own time, always in ways that benefit us most. He doesn't forget our prayers, though they may take years to be answered, they always are! He cares more about the state of our heart and spirit than the physical worries that we can be consumed with. Growing our faith, love, humility, patience, and repentance is where He works, helping us know Him better, even if it takes trials. What a loving Father He is! There aren't enough words to tell of how wonderful our Heavenly Father is! Even all of nature with its many forms of beauty and perfection isn't enough to tell of Jesus' love for us. Like the garden that is best experienced alone, coming to know Jesus is an individual experience. His love must be experienced personally, with Him as the guide. What a treasure we find in Jesus, and in knowing Him!

Baby Chicks

Our son wanted to try hatching chicks this year. When Grandpa was alive he started a flock of chickens at the home of one of his children. Grandpa loved chickens. Our sister sent some eggs and Grandpa's incubator. The eggs were a beautiful mix of greenish blue, some light brown, others cream colored, and a couple eggs with spots. Our son felt a connection to Grandpa in trying to incubate eggs with his incubator and from the flock of chickens he started.

I wanted to share what we learned, some of it was surprisingly spiritual.

Chicken eggs take 21 days. We watched the eggs, carefully monitoring their temperature, humidity and turning the eggs every day. It took one gallon of distilled water to provide the right humidity in the incubator, a little water every day. That was a lot of water!  As day 21 approached, we bought chick feed and pine wood chips for bedding. As our son was preparing the the chick feeders, there was a mishap. He came running to us as we were working outside, "You have to come to the basement!" We went downstairs so see the theater room had flooded. One of our kids had turned on the outside water in winter- a month or two ago. The water in the pipes froze. With warmer spring weather, the break in the pipes melted and began spraying inside the basement wall. Water was soaking the carpet, baseboards and 2 walls of the theater room. We gathered all the towels in the house and started mopping things up- but it wasn't enough. Edward called a home restoration company, they came out a couple hours later and cut out the wet baseboards, dry wall, ceiling, and set up some fans and a dehumidifier. After it happened, I was surprised that this hasn't happened before with 8 kids. It was a crazy and exhausting Saturday, 2 days before the eggs hatched. Hopefully insurance will cover it.

 

Setting up the lamps, food and water for the chicks proved to be more a lot more work than we thought!

When day 21 came, we woke up to a few chirps. We were so excited to see the eggs wiggling and chirping coming from inside the eggs. We talked to the eggs, telling them how excited we were to see them. The chicks inside the eggs chirped back at us, as if we were having a conversation with them. The kids didn't go to school,  I had taken a day off work, we were all waiting for the chicks to be born. The little girls put on dresses in spring colors for the occassion. They came downstairs and we quietly and anxiously waited for the eggs to hatch. Maybe we thought it would be like a tea party. Then nothing happened, all day. The kids moved on to play somewhere else. The chicks quit moving and making noise. I was worried that no eggs would hatch and my kids would be heartbroken. I asked the kids to come and say a prayer with me for the chicks. We wondered if the chicks were still alive since they were so quiet. We held hands, making a circle around the incubator. We asked Heavenly Father to bless these chicks, to help them live, and thanked the Lord for the miracle that baby chicks growing inside eggs are. As we were praying, the chicks began chirping inside of the eggs. Our daughter reverently whispered, "That is the loveliest sound!" The thought came that a mother hen would not sit silently waiting for her chicks, like we were being quiet, but that she would encourage them, clucking a lot over them, and cheering them on in the fight for their lives. 

We started talking to the eggs, encouraging them. We could tell they were struggling and tired. "You can do it! Keep going, we want to see you! You're strong! Move those little legs and move that little head and beak! You're doing great and getting closer! We can't wait to see you!" One child said, "I want to hold you forever when you come out!" When we ran out of encouraging words to say, we started singing. We made up words to songs, with whatever might sound encouraging to baby chicks, to let them know we wanted them to keep fighting to break free of the egg shell. The chicks responded by chirping as we talked and sang to them. We told them it was a beautiful world with sunshine, blue skies and grass, and that they would like it out here. Breaking free of the small egg shell would be worth it! 

The thought came that our guardian angels probably encourage us like we were encouraging the chicks. We also have tough shells to shed and lots of growing to do. Some have said that our physical body is the veil that keeps us from seeing what is spiritual all around us. Most of us spend most of our time worrying about the physical world- food, health, homes, income- what we need to survive. Breaking free from what is physical and having a meaningful spiritual life and seeing what is from God around us is a struggle. Even if we can't see it, the Lord's love and care, and his angels are all around us! 

We took turns sitting by the eggs and talking to the eggs until we went to bed. We told the chicks that their chirping was so lovely, and that we so much wanted to see them. The eggs started wiggling and squirming again. But still no hatching that day. As night came on, I asked my family and a couple friends to pray for the chicks. Worried, I was up a lot that night, remembering when I was pregnant with one of my children and we didn't know if she would make it. Remembering how much the Lord took care of us helped!

The next morning we heard chirping again. We ran out to see the chicks, and 2 had hatched! They were clumsily trying to get up and walk in the incubator, tumbling around and pushing all the other eggs to the sides. They were soaking wet, and there were spots of blood on the egg shells and on their feathers. They looked more like baby dinosaurs than baby chicks. But their feathers soon dried and fluffed up, and they were adorable. There was more chirping and wiggling from the other eggs too. That was an exciting morning. The kids went to school a couple hours late because they watched several chicks hatch. Each time a chick hatched, we waited for it to dry inside the incubator. Then we put the chick in the warm brooder box we'd prepared, removed the empty, broken shell, and rearranged the eggs that had been pushed to the sides. We were so happy. We said a prayer thanking the Lord that at least a few of the chicks had made it! 

As chicks began to break out, a couple times the inside membrane remained sealed for a minute after the outer shell cracked. We could see the pulsating heart beat and the chick moving under the semi-clear membrane. What an amazing and precious treasure life is! Here are a couple videos of them breaking out of their shells.

It was interesting seeing the different ways chicks broke out of their shells. Each chick was unlike any other chick in its way of breaking the egg shell. It made me think of how we all progress and grow so differently. Shedding what keeps us from growing (like the egg shell) is difficult and messy for most.

One chick chipped a perfectly symmetrical line around the circumference of the egg, and then popped out. That was the only one that did that. Two chicks popped out almost at the same time- within just a few minutes- both of them had dark feathers. They seemed to be connected like siblings! They were the only ones that came at the same time. 

For most of the chicks, breaking free of the egg was very individual and exhausting work. This was no tea party, this was the fight for their lives! They had to take many breaks to regain their energy.  A couple of the chicks had a hard time straightening their heads, their heads had been pressed against their chests for so long. After several minutes they learned to lift their heads. The kids said, "I can't believe that the chicks used to fit inside the egg! They look so much bigger now!" 

When the chicks broke free from the egg shell, their uncoordinated and awkward attempts to walk often landed them back into the egg shell they'd been trying to shed. They sat with their heads or tails back inside the egg shell resting before making more attempts at walking. For us, falling back into old patterns or habits, like the chicks fell back into their egg shells, is something we struggle with.

One special chick made a tiny hole that it kept sticking its beak out of. It responded to our words through it's miniature window, shaking its beak at us and peeping when we talked to it. 

We kept encouraging that chick, it had been many hours and it hadn't progressed at all. Finally around 10 pm, 12 hours after it had started, that chick broke free from it's shell. It was so exhausted, it barely made it out! 

When the chick began moving and lurching around, it was dragging its egg shell behind it. After several minutes, we intervened and found that there was a cord wrapped around its leg, connecting it to the egg shell. We removed the cord with scissors. That chick probably had the cord wrapped around its leg when it was developing, because it had a hard time walking. It also has a hard time eating. We have been feeding it with a dropper. It still responds to our encouragement and seems to be doing a little better, but is more sleepy and smaller than the others. When I see it poop, I am happy that at least some food is getting through!  

If chickens who only take 21 days to develop, are so responsive to encouragement when they are still inside the egg, how much more receptive a human baby must be to the feelings and sounds of its mother when it is within the womb for 9 months! What a precious gift unborn life is!

Over the next couple days, 11 chicks hatched. There were still 9 eggs in the incubator. It had been 24 hours without any more movement from the remaining eggs, and I thought it was time to turn off the incubator. Our son insisted on opening each egg, in case any of them were alive and needed help to get out before we turned the incubator off. We cracked a hole in each egg very slowly and carefully in case they were still alive. Three eggs didn't develop at all. Six eggs developed into mature chicks, but were unable to break out of the thick shell. They died before we opened them. It was sobering and difficult to see how close they had come to making it out. We didn't know what to do with the eggs that had full grown chicks in them. If we buried them outside, an animal like a cat or dog would dig them up, so we put them in the garbage can- not a very dignified burial. We said a prayer and thanked Heavenly Father for the life that had developed in these chicks, and for the gift that they were from Grandpa. We asked if Grandpa in Heaven could take care of the chicks that died. Our son was crying, he almost never cries. We returned our focus to the living chicks, and to being happy they survived.

We have constant chirping inside the house now with chicks inside our kitchen. It is relaxing and calming to hold them, to watch them eat and sleep. When we reach our hand down to pick one up, they all gather around, as if they want to be picked up. They will put themselves in the palm of your hand. These chicks seem more happy and content than other chicks we've had before. Even when I leave the house, I can still hear the chirping. I hear chirping when I'm driving, at work, and on walks. I hear birds chirping more everywhere. Kind of like when a mother hears a child call "Mom!" at the grocery store and without thinking you turn around to look, in case it's one of your children. 

Our son says his goal is to have each chick fall asleep in his hands every day, so that they will learn to trust him. I don't know where he comes up with these things! It made me think of Jesus falling asleep in the boat during a storm, He knew whose care he was in and fully trusted in our Heavenly Father. 

So what has incubating chicks taught me? Growing is more like a long battle than a tea party. It is really hard and each person progresses in their own way. Encouragement makes a big difference, and a lot of cheering and love helps. Sometimes there are valid reasons that someone's progress is different or slower than expected, be patient with them as they struggle.  Life is so precious. God answers prayers! 

Since I've been thinking about chicks and eggs, I noticed on a walk the theme of rebirth all around me. Leaf buds closed tightly over winter open in spring. Flowers buds closed tightly open into beautiful flowers. Eggs- chicks are held in a tight space then break free to grow. Jumping, flying, swimming- all come after breaking free from the egg shell. Caterpillars become cocoons before butterflies. Butterflies can fly longer distances than a caterpillar could ever crawl. So many themes of rebirth and new life in nature. The old life is not much like the new life- it is an entirely new thing.  

Jesus also talked about being born again, and that we must all be born again in Him.  Jesus told Nicodemus, "I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the Kingdom of God." "What do you mean?" exclaimed Nicodemus. "How can an old man go back into his mother's womb and be born again?" Jesus replied, "I assure you, no one can enter the Kingdom of God without being born of water and the Spirit. Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives birth to spiritual life. So don't be surprised when I say, 'You must be born again.'" John 3:3-7 NLT

Jesus changes our lives and makes us new, as we turn to him to be our Wonderful Counselor, our Friend, Healer, and Savior.

"Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone, a new life has begun!" 2 Corinthians 5:17 NLT

If you or I am like the chick working to be free of the constraints of the egg shell, what is the next step? How do we break free of physical worries and constraints and enter more fully into a real spiritual life with Jesus? Is it making prayer a higher priority? Is it forgiving someone? Is it putting away something? The Spirit will tell you if you listen. It is a battle, but the Lord will give you strength! Don't give up!