Christmas Gifts

A few years ago, we visited a friend in a nursing home around Christmas time. When we came to his door, he had pulled the blankets up over his head. He hadn't gotten dressed for the day, he was in his garments. He said he wished Christmas would just pass him by this year. After some big health challenges, he was in a wheelchair. His wife had passed away a few months earlier. Family relationships with some of his children were strained. He didn't want to be in a nursing home. Christmas felt much different than the one seen in Christmas cards for him. We talked for a bit, and after a few minutes, he was looking for something to make my children smile. He showed them the little trinkets in his room and asked them to push the button on the singing stuffed animal. They laughed together, children have the gift to bring smiles to those around them. His wife had been a good friend to many in our neighborhood and had left many friends. We left because some of his other friends came to visit.

For many, the holidays are a stark reminder that not all in their life is merry and bright. We all know people whose challenges and heartaches come into painful focus with holiday expectations. The elderly dealing with loneliness and declining health, those struggling with isolating mental illness, the family grieving the death of their child, the hardworking parents waiting for a job to pan out, the family going through a heartbreaking divorce, the orphans who wish only for a family, a child or adult dealing with lifelong health challenges, those far from home serving in the military or on missions, the caregiver that is worn out. Holidays can bring a mix of happy and sad emotions to many.

The last couple of years our daughter that needs daily medical care has felt a difference in the air at holiday time.  During the holidays she is easily triggered by little things that normally don't bother her so much. She is already handling so much with her daily health care, the increased stress of the holidays is felt more. There are more tears, more running away crying. More questions like, "Why are we gone from home so much?" and "Why do I have to do the things I don't want to do? (medical care)" I struggle to find answers for her. I have to keep the holiday preparations simple so that I can be calm, and be there for her. We have tried lots of things to deal with the emotional questions- looking at pictures of when she was born and explaining the medical side, watching videos of other children with challenges, making a card or painting for someone else, watching funny videos, and lots of arts and crafts.

A few days ago I was struggling to answer her questions, "Why?" The thought came to tell her about the Garden of Eden. In the Garden of Eden,  Adam and Eve had only beautiful plants and trees. God was there, they could see Him and talk to Him. Fruits grew on trees, and everything was peaceful and good. After Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden, not all the plants were good. Outside of the Garden of Eden, the good and bad plants grew together. Adam and Eve had to learn to pick the good. Like the prickly weeds in our garden, the bad plants just come up along with the good plants. When we go back to Heaven, it will be only good, beautiful things. Because Heaven is where God lives. But here on earth, the good and bad are mixed together. We can learn to tell the difference between good and bad, and choose what is good. We can learn to hear Jesus' voice again and talk with Him again. After the difficult questions and tears, she bounces back to her cheerful, smiling, joking 5-year-old self. I am amazed at how quickly she recovers, and at how happy and confident she is. Those conversations pull at my heart. I don't bounce back as quickly from having to answer the hard questions about the unfairness of life to a little child.

The fluff of holiday expectations is stripped away when dealing with more difficult issues.  I ask myself,  what is this Christmas season really about? It is about love. Not the decorations, not the parties, not the food, not the gifts we buy.

The first gift of Christmas was pure love from our Father and Mother in Heaven- it was baby Jesus. That gift of love changed the world forever. Jesus was born to be our Heavenly Father and Mother's sacrificial lamb, to atone for our sins. How difficult it must have been for them to watch their son be crucified, how much love for us that had to take. Jesus came to give us forgiveness, the ability to change, to become clean and whole again. Jesus came to show us how to love, how to forgive. He came to walk with us in our challenges so that we wouldn't be alone in finding our way. He came to show us the way, to be our way.

Jesus came to be with the elderly man, so he wouldn't be alone in a nursing home.  He came to cry with family grieving for their lost child, and to give them hope of a resurrection that would last forever. Like he did for Mary and Martha when their brother Lazarus died. He came to give love and compassion to those suffering with mental illness. Jesus came to be a Father to the fatherless, to be their loved one when they had none. The man waiting to be healed at the pool of Bethesda had no family, no one, to lift him into the water to be healed. Jesus saw him and lifted him up, and healed him. Jesus came to give hope and faith to the family that is without a job. Jesus filled the nets of the fishermen disciples just as they heading back to shore after a long night of work, without any fish to show for it. Jesus provides for those who love him.

He came to give love, encouragement and peace to his son or daughter that is going through a divorce. Jesus sees the heartache of each of us. Jesus came to walk with my little child with difficult medical needs.

Jesus came to give help and strength to each of us in our challenges. Jesus walks with us not only in a figurative sense, but in a literal sense. That is who He is. What a difference his love has made to me.  My trials have brought me to Him, without the humbling experiences, I might not have seen his love all around me. His love has truly changed the world!

 When we are going through a trial, only He truly understands and loves us perfectly. Jesus said "I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing" John 15:5. He is the vine, we are the branches. Without being connected to Him, we are without life, without hope, we are nothing. Help from loved ones and friends is a treasure, and many times our loved ones are an answer to prayer. Still, their love doesn't come close to the understanding, peace, and love that comes from Jesus directly to us.  How thankful I am for Jesus' help in my life!

How ironic it is that many of us believe Jesus loved us enough to die for us, but we also believe he is far away from us. We think of Him as far away, up in Heaven somewhere, too busy with more important things to be involved in our lives. If you think about it for a minute, you can see the contradiction here. If you loved someone enough to die for them, wouldn't you be 100% interested and involved in their life? Somehow we believe that we are unworthy of Jesus' love and that Jesus is very far away. Those thoughts come from the adversary. Jesus willingly went through that terrible sacrifice, because in His eyes, we are worth it. He doesn't love us because we've earned his love through good behavior, He loves us because that is who He is. Jesus not only sacrificed his life for each of us, but would help us through anything we have to go through, and literally be with us as our best friend. Jesus puts his arm around us and comforts us in our trials.  He does not leave us alone. He does not delegate our deepest needs to others, even church leaders, Jesus himself is our shepherd.

When our daughter was about 3 years old, she often woke up saying Jesus was with her in her dreams. I asked her what Jesus was doing when he was in her dreams. She said Jesus would hold her and help her go to sleep.  What a huge comfort it was to me that with all the medical stuff she had to go through, she was a calm and content baby, she slept so soundly. The only times she didn't sleep was when she was sick. I believe she was telling the truth, she was too little to make it up. I believe Jesus really was with her, helping her fall asleep, so that we could both rest. That is the Jesus I love, the one that wants to be with us, and help us daily.

A couple years ago, our child with special medical needs had a very difficult test to go through. She was 3 at the time. We knew what was coming, because she had this test before, and she'd screamed for the entire 45 minutes last time. We prayed as a family for her the night before, and prepared as best we could- treats, a soft blanket, a teddy bear. She was old enough we could communicate with her, and I hoped she could understand. I thought this time would be easier. The hospital had a music therapist come and play her guitar and sing gently to her. But it was still a very difficult test. She cried and screamed almost the entire test, and fought against the nurses like a little tiger. As she was crying, clinging to me, I looked up and silently asked, "Where are you, God? I thought you were going to help us!" In my mind, I heard his gentle words to me, "I am. I am helping you." As the test finished, they told us that the results were good, better than the last time she took the test. No further interventions would be needed at the time. Even though it had been difficult, God did not leave us alone, He had been with us. she is doing so well, and we thank God for the progress she is making. The progress she is making is miraculous. She is doing so great!

Another name for Jesus is Emmanuel- it means "God with us" (Matthew 1:23). He really is with us. Emmanuel is not only a long ago angelic proclamation but a real-life description of His love and companionship with us. He tells us "I will go before your face. I will be on your right and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up." (D&C 84:88)

Isaiah also tells us about Jesus love for us. His words became part of the song "How Firm a Foundation". Jesus himself is our firm foundation, not anything else. "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness . . . For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; for I will help thee. Fear not, thou worm Jacob, and ye men of Israel; I will help thee, saith the Lord, and thy Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel" Isaiah 41:10-14. He continues in chapter 43 vs 1 "But now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not; for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee; when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour; I gave Egypt for thy ransom, Ethiopia and Sebba for thee. Since thou was precious in my sight . . . Fear not; for I am with thee." Did you catch how many times the Lord tells us to fear not, and that He is with us?

Have you felt Jesus with you, fulfilling his promise to you? Have you seen the love He is showing you personally? How can we more fully receive the gift Jesus is this Christmas? Can we believe Him more, when He says He is with us?

At Christmas, with all the commercialism and encouragement to give many gifts, I wonder "What can I give that would have any meaning?" Often I am too tired to give anything that wouldn't feel insignificant. It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the only valuable gifts are those that can be purchased, or experienced physically- the food, the parties, the entertainment, the decorations. Hopefully, we can recognize the more important gifts that aren't physical.

I can give love. I can give understanding, compassion, and patience, as each person is dealing with big challenges. I can see the goodness in them, and love them where they are. Just as Jesus loves me where I am, and teaches me at my level. Often I am wrong, my sins and pride make a mess of things, but Jesus loves me and sees the good in me anyways. With Jesus, He always gives correction, which I am in much need of, but He gives an abundance of love too.  I can love others as Jesus loves me, that is what He asks of me. "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another" John 13:34. I can be thankful for the people I know, love them where they are, not waiting to love them until they see things from my point of view. The gifts of friendship, of forgiveness, of love are gifts I can give. These are meaningful gifts.

I struggle to keep love deep enough in my heart that it doesn't fly out the window at the first contrary thing or challenge of patience. Charity, the pure love of God, seems the most fleeting, yet it is the most important of the virtues or gifts. Maybe that is why we need to focus on it. In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul gives a great lesson on the pure love of God, charity. "Though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. . . And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity." Without charity, all other gifts fail. All efforts are meaningless without love, pure love. Moroni tells us "Pray unto the Father with all energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God" Moroni 7:48.

Holidays bring challenges for so many that carry heavy burdens. We can give love, patience and understanding to each other. And point everyone to Christ, the only one who truly understands and loves perfectly. He is our Saviour. Jesus is the gift we celebrate! The Lord told me once, to fill my cup with His love, so that I can give my loved ones from the love He has given me.  I hope I can focus on giving true love, like Jesus' love freely given to me. What a gift of love our Jesus has given to us! Thank you Jesus for your perfect love for us all! You are our Shepherd, our King, our Saviour!

Below is a link to a beautiful video and song about how Jesus is with us.

David Phelps, The Name Lives On. Clip by Produtora Inspire

Sacrament

I wanted to share a couple poems I wrote.

All creation waited for this moment
We watched, holding our breath
As You suffered for us.
Scourged, whipped, tormented
The King of Heaven knelt in pain
Your blood, tears and sweat mixed together
They wet the parched ground below you.
Our King of Glory given a mocking crown of painful thorns
How could Heaven let this be?
For me. For you. For all of us.
The Light of the World, descending to the darkest place possible
My Living Water, thirsty for a drink as you hung on the cross.
My Rock of Salvation, beaten, broken, crying for Father's help
The rocks and earth mourned and they broke too.
You walked into Hell below
Having endured Hell's full anger on earth
Your perfect love and forgiveness
Consumed and conquered Hell's fury.
The keys to the captives of sin and death now yours.
Because you suffered all for me. For all of us.
My pain and suffering became Your pain and suffering.
I am free from Satan's hold on me.
No longer captive to earthly kingdoms and powers.
Your love and forgiveness show me the way
To conquer all challenges and foes.
You are my Light in the darkness, the King of my heart,
My Rock of Salvation, my Living Water.
Your cup is given to me to drink, to always remember you.
Your bread, to do the will of Father, is mine to eat.
Kneeling before you, I offer all I have to you.
All glory, honor, blessings and praise to you!



When I take the sacrament, I think of you Jesus, your bread.
Your bread was to do the Father's will.
Jesus, our Life Giving Seed, you fell to the ground, crushed,
Beaten, scourged, placed in the fiery furnace of affliction.
To become my daily bread, my Bread of Life.
You took the crushing consequences of my sins
Treading the winepress of God's justice alone, soaked in your red blood
That I might be made white, cleansed,
That I might not be crushed by the weight of my sins.
That I might never be forsaken and alone in suffering.
Jesus, you did the Father's will and fully emptied the sorely bitter cup.
Crucified and still forgiving as you suffered,
You begged for a drink of water.
How could this be?
You, the living water, having poured out your life, thirsting.
Dying to spare me my bitter cup of suffering for my many sins.
The depth of your love is beyond anything I've ever known.
If I remember you always, and follow your Spirit's voice,
I will not thirst again, Jesus, for you are my Living Water.
Let me stay forever near you.



Jesus is our goal. Coming to Him, remembering Him always. Turning to Him in our daily challenges, and letting him take our hand and guide us through each one- those are our goals. Like the blue sky covers the earth, his love covers all of us. It is enough for all of us. But so often we are distracted, turned away from Him. We don't even see all the miracles around us, the things Jesus puts in our path to remind us of His love. We turn to other things for help, in our distress, instead of Jesus. Still He waits patiently for us to come back to Him and his never ending love for us. How great is our God! Like the sunshine warms and gives life to all things, His love warms us. His love can help us understand and make it through any challenge. Unchanging, Jesus is our Rock, our Strength. Like the birds fly, lifted by the wind, Jesus is what lifts us up and gives us the ability to make it through from one day to the next. How wonderful our God is! If staying close to Jesus and remembering Him always, is our goal, there is more than one right way to do this.

Let me give an example that shows that there is more than one right way to accomplish a goal. I want to give a disclaimer, that I have made many, many mistakes and that the only example worth following is Jesus'. In raising our children, we have tried out several different school approaches, and learned a few things. We had to think about what our goals were. What is our goal in educating our children? To instill in our children a love of learning, to raise them to be as independent as possible, to be able to take care of themselves,  and to instill in them a desire to give back to the community. We want them to love their family. We hope that they love the Lord more than anything else. We have tried many different types of schooling for our children, and found that all can be useful.

A few years ago, our daughter had several surgeries in a short time frame, and it had taken a toll on our family. We needed to regroup as a family- we felt like we'd been thrown for a loop and hadn't figured out our new normal. We prayed about it and both Edward and I felt strongly that we needed to homeschool our 3 oldest children that year. It didn't make logical sense. Our daughter's medical needs were still very time consuming. Our oldest boys were in 10th, 9th, and 7th grades, their needs were greater than what I could teach them. Family members were opposed to us homeschooling and they expressed their concerns several times. We enrolled them in an online charter school, they participated in online classes in our kitchen together. We went to a few fun field trips together, but I didn't have the time to make it work. Academically, online homeschool was a setback. The program was good, but their motivation just wasn't there! However, spending a year home together was exactly the blessing we needed to gel our family together. I can see why the Lord told us to homeschool that year. Our children are good friends, they really love to be together. I attribute some of that to the year we did homeschooling. I love seeing the older kids laugh and play with the younger kids, and join in their games. The older kids don't feel like they are too old to enjoy the games the younger children play. They have all become really good friends, and are mostly content to be home enjoying their closest friends- their siblings.

I learned that there are many ways "school" can happen, there is no one right way- other than what is best for the needs of the child and family. The school approach can change from year to year, along with the changing needs of the child or family. We should evaluate if we are meeting the needs of our children and pray and ask God to direct us. Only the family can judge what is best for them, and their children. The fruits of a good education are evident in the children themselves and the young adults they are becoming. Are they happy? Genuinely kind and thoughtful of others? Interested in learning? Gaining skills needed for independence? Or are the opposite traits more present?

I feel the same applies to church. We have to look at the goal, and evaluate the fruits. The goal is to come to the Lord. For our faith and desire to follow Him to more fully increase. Our goal is to always remember Jesus, to have His Spirit with us, always in our hearts. To find Jesus every day. There is not a one size fits all, single approach in coming to the Lord. Each one of us is so unique and comes with such different challenges. Here are some questions to consider: What are the fruits of my religious or spiritual practices? Do I feel humbled, repentant, more reliant on the Lord? Or do I feel justified, self-righteous and proud of how much my church community loves me and needs me? Is this bearing good fruit in my life? I don't ask these questions to be judgmental. These are the questions we ask ourselves when we are  trying to decide what course to take. Am I coming to know the Lord more deeply? Seeing His hand more clearly in my life? Or am I more worried about how others perceive me, how they perceive my family, and my commitment to the church? What is the end result, and is that what I really want? What is my goal? Am I reaching it by what I am doing?  It is very personal and individual. For some, church may be exactly where the Lord wants them to be. Maybe there are others at church who need their testimony of the Lord, or maybe there is a service they need to give or receive. For others, the Lord may want to teach them at home, or in another setting. Like schooling, only the family and God knows what is best for them. Judging can happen on both sides, and it isn't helpful. Hopefully we can respect each other's way of worshiping the Lord. The important thing is to keep our goal, of always remembering Him and having His Spirit with us, first in our minds.

When my friends tell me that taking the sacrament is an important reason to come to church, there are some unspoken assumptions. My friends assume that the only way with proper authority to take the sacrament would be under the direction of an LDS bishop. A lot of the understanding LDS members have about taking the sacrament hinges on the word "authority" or "priesthood". What does priesthood mean? For many, including me, the first thing that comes to mind with those words is the priesthood line, the line of men who men receive their priesthood authority from. As a missionary, I taught about church leadership and its priesthood authority using the pictures of the church leaders printed in the centerfold of the conference issue of the Ensign.  Looking back, I wish that I had only taught Jesus. In Jesus alone is our salvation.

In other time periods, people also automatically thought of the leaders of their church in their day as the authority, as the priesthood, the power of God on earth- as they understood it. The priests at the temple, the teachers of the law. For the Jews they would have viewed authority as coming from those who knew the law, and had authority through their training and tradition, the scribes and pharisees. But Jesus always did the unexpected, surprising everyone around Him with his unorthodox approach, his miracles and power. Jesus broke all the traditions, all the boxes and rules that people put around God.

When we think of priesthood or God's power, I would hope that only Jesus comes to mind. He created our world. He commands the elements. Jesus is the real source of any power from Heaven. Across time, any connection with heaven or with the Lord, must be individually forged, and often that involves a furnace of affliction. In forging that connection to the Lord, He can give to anyone who asks what they need. Including, if they desire, His permission to take the sacrament in memory of his sacrifice.



Jesus is our Shepherd, He leads us by still waters, feeds us in green pastures and anoints our head. This is part of David's Psalm 23. A short book I really enjoyed is "A Shepherd's look at Psalm 23" by W. Phillip Keller. The author spent time raising sheep, and he describes many similarities in the relationships between sheep and shepherds and God's children and Jesus. One of these similarities is the social order of sheep. Sheep in a herd form a pecking order, with some sheep asserting themselves as the top sheep, dominating the best spots of shade, or the choicest areas of grass, and butting out other sheep who get in their way. When the shepherd comes to tend his herd, any pecking order the sheep have established among themselves disappears entirely because the sheep are now focused on the shepherd, not on each other. Keller explains, "Another point that impressed me, too, was that the less aggressive sheep were often far more contented, quiet and restful .So there were definite advantages in being "bottom sheep." But more important was the fact that it was the shepherd's presence that put an end to all rivalry. And in our human relationships when we become acutely aware of being in the presence of Christ, our foolish, selfish snobbery and rivalry will end. It is the humble heart walking quietly and contentedly in the close and intimate companionship of Christ that is at rest, that can relax, simply glad to lie down and let the world go by. When my eyes are on my Master, they are not on those around me. This is the place of peace."  (p.49) Are we focused on the other sheep, even the sheep that are the leaders, or are we focused on our Shepherd, Jesus?



I used to think that God was absent, and that in God's absence that the leaders of the church preside over his flock. I learned in the many miracles we saw in our daughter's birth that God is definitely not absent, and God is never far away! Jesus is so near to us! As near as we allow him to be. He really is so close, helping us every day through so many challenges. If we could peel back the scales that blind our eyes, our unbeliefs, our incorrect traditions, we would see the Lord's love for us, as individuals, everywhere around us. If we believed more fully in Him and turned to Him more in every thought, we would see Him more. That is the definition of repentance, it is turning to God. Turning to God instead of anything else. Seeking comfort in Jesus, instead of any other substitute. He knows every worry, every tear, and he even knows every hair on our head- and loves us, even in the messes we find ourselves in. If we really saw Jesus love lifting us up, and blessing us- we would have a much different outlook.

As LDS people, we feel much comfort in the authority we have been taught is exclusive to our church. Yet there are many amazing Christian people of other faiths that are also doing the Lord's work. These are people who leave what is comfortable and familiar, to do the work God calls them to- whether it is caring for fatherless children, helping poor farmers learn better farming practices, teaching the gospel to a special group of people, or whatever special work God gives them. They feel God's direction, his call. Think of the many great people who felt God's call- Florence Nightingale, her inspired care greatly reduced the number of men who died from  battle wounds. Abraham Lincoln and his work to free the slaves in the Civil War. Christopher Columbus, who felt God directing him to a new land, the Americas, and many others that were given missions by God. God is evident in their work. Have they not received his help, his permission to do what He has called them to do? Is their calling from God any less valid than what leaders of LDS churches feel they have? Once in praying, the Lord told me that there is no exclusive group of people the Lord works with. He can work with anyone, anywhere. He can give his authority and help to anyone.

"He manifesteth himself unto all those who believe in him, by the power of the Holy Ghost; yea, unto every nation, kindred, tongue, and people, working mighty miracles, signs and wonders, among the children of men according to their faith . . . Behold doth he cry unto any, saying: Depart from me? Behold I say unto you, Nay: but he saith: Come unto me all ye ends of the earth, buy milk and honey, without money and without price." (2 Nephi 26:13,25). How thankful I am that Jesus would speak to any of us, that he is no respecter of persons, that we all have equal opportunity to seek his face.

As fallen, mortal people, we like to see patterns in the way God works with his children. It is common to think that the only way God will work is inside the patterns that we see. The problem is we begin to focus on the patterns instead of focusing on God himself. It is easier in the short term to follow a pattern than to discern what God's will is in every circumstance. God doesn't always follow the patterns we mortals think of as concrete. With his infinite knowledge and wisdom, his ways are higher than ours. With time we see what a wonderful work he was doing, in the very moments when we were questioning his plan. Many prophets have been called from unexpected circumstances, outside the patterns mortal man sees and expects- John the Baptist, Abinadi, Samuel the Lamanite and  others. They were called from outside of the religious institutions of their day. They offered their lives to deliver God's message. Jesus also came from an unexpected background. Born into circumstances questioned by his community, without the approval of the religious leaders in his day.  Jesus focused on the Father's will, not the accepted patterns seen by mortal man. I love when Jesus says, "My meat is to do the will of him that sent me, and to finish his work." (John 4:34) Just as focusing on God's will was important for Jesus, it is also crucial for us to focus on God's will for us individually. We can work on learning to hear his words to us as individuals, on doing the Lord's will for us every day.

We can ask more often, "What do you want me to do today, Jesus? How do you want me to handle the work I have before me?" How beautiful it is when we hear his words to us! Nothing else compares to his voice, except for his presence, which I hope someday to fully experience! How thankful I am that Jesus condescends to talk with us and work with us, even in our sinful state! Just a couple days ago, my daughter was having a hard time cooperating with her medical care. I took a moment to pray and ask what the Lord wanted me to do. The Lord's answer was simple, "Feed her first." She had recently had breakfast, but I prepared another plate of food for her. In a few minutes she was fully cooperative and cheerful again. I was so thankful the Lord told me what to do to avoid tears and frustration.

One of the problems with patterns, is that there is always exclusion of some of God's children-  those outside of the accepted pattern. But God knows each person's needs, their hearts, and they are important to Him.  I am sure most of us at some time have felt like we were the one outside the accepted pattern.  In our church, does strict obedience to rules, handbooks and programs substitute for love and inclusion of those with special or different needs? I have seen it  happen, regretfully, and have probably been the offender myself at times. Asking God how to treat others, and to help us as we interact with others is so important.

Many times close family and friends talk to me about the leaders of the church. How wonderful the current prophet is, or his accomplishments. Or they talk to me about the programs of the church,  and how thankful they are for the recent changes at church.  I wish that instead of talking about the leaders, programs, and recent changes, we were discussing what Jesus is teaching them. These are also the things I should be sharing more. How have you seen God's hand in your life? How have you come to know Jesus, in your daily living? Have you seen Jesus show you his love for you, individually? How did He help you handle a challenge, when you didn't know what to do? What are you learning about Jesus, and his love for you? Knowing Jesus is all that matters. Jesus is the only way back to our Father, and our only safe way through this life.

Is an intermediary man, a church leader, necessary for me or you to know the Lord? If I feel I need my church leader's permission, or their authority to do the things that draw me closer to the Lord, like taking the sacrament, am I relying on a man when I should be relying on God in all things? Who do I put my trust in, man or God? Who am I focused on- the other sheep or Jesus, our Shepherd?  Do I really believe Jesus can give me everything I need? What are the unbeliefs, the incorrect traditions and the patterns I hold to, that are limiting what the Lord is giving me? This would be a good question to ask the Lord in prayer.

A few years ago, I was in a sacrament meeting, with many humble and broken people. It was a testimony meeting at Primary Children's hospital. A couple children came in with IV poles and bald heads, they were beautiful warriors. Many of the mothers had the visible remains of tears and sleepless nights on their faces. The mothers were dressed differently than what I was used to seeing at church, they were wearing comfortable clothes to sleep on the couch in a hospital room. A father shared his testimony, his son had been in the hospital for many weeks since his birth, and had not been home yet due to heart operations. This father shared the story of Jesus healing the blind man in John 9, and how the story gave him hope. He hoped God's hand and God's works would be visible in his baby boy's life, as God's works were manifest in the blind man's life. I went home and read that story again. Being a parent of a child with special needs, the story became more meaningful to me.  Reading in between the lines of John 9:32, I understood that, like me, the blind man's parents searched for a way to heal what their child was born with. Time after time they were told that this was incurable, lifelong- only a true miracle from God could heal their child. They likely cried tears in private, wishing their son could run freely like other children. They knew he would be excluded from activities their family valued- like worshiping in the synagogue. Those with physical deformities, blindness or other problems were not allowed into the synagogue. This was a pattern that excluded an important group of God's children- those with special needs.

The blind man's parents probably taught him to focus on the abilities he had, his strengths, like listening more carefully. The blind man listened closely when Jesus disciples asked the Savior "Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents; but that the works of God should be manifest in him. I must work the works of him that sent me, while I am with you; the time cometh when I shall have finished my work, then I go unto the Father. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world." The truth of Jesus words and his presence must have deeply stirred the blind man's heart. When Jesus made clay and put it on his eyes, the blind man knew his eyes had been "anointed" Maybe those with 20/20 earthly vision would not have seen the anointing, just dirt and spit. After he'd washed and received physical sight, he was asked "How were thine eyes opened? He answered and said, A man that is called Jesus made clay and anointed mine eyes, and said unto me, Go to the pool of Siloam and wash; and I went and washed and I received sight." Washing in the pool of Siloam took faith too. The blind man walked through possibly scorning crowds with mud clay over his eyes before washing it off in the pool of Siloam.

After the blind man receives his sight, the Pharisees realize that Jesus performed this miracle on the Sabbath. The blind man's eloquent response to the Pharisees scornful questions about Jesus shows his faith. The blind man answered, "Now we know that God heareth not sinners; but if any man be a worshipper of God, and doeth his will, him he heareth. Since the world began was it not heard that any man opened the eyes of one that was born blind, except he be of God. If this man were not of God, he could do nothing." Then the Pharisees cast the blind man out of the synagogue because he would not deny Jesus. The one time in his life he gets into the synagogue, and gets a chance to speak- and then he is cast out again because he witnesses of Jesus! His parents answered the Pharisee's questions very carefully because they were afraid of being cast out of the synagogue. In a tightly knit religious community, these associations were part of their everyday life, possibly their livelihood. Even though Jesus had healed their son, they were afraid of losing their community. Jesus heard that this man had been cast out for his testimony of him, and he found him and asked "Dost thou believe on the Son of God? He answered and said, Who is he Lord, that I might believe on him? And Jesus said unto him, Thou has both seen him, and it is he that talketh with thee. And he said, Lord I believe. And he worshipped him. And Jesus said, For judgment I am come into this world, that they which see not might see; and that they which see might be made blind." (John 9:31-39)

The blind man had not seen Jesus before this, only heard his voice and felt his hands over his face. Of all the new sights he wanted to see, seeing Jesus must have been at the top. Now he saw Jesus and worshipped him. All the years of difficulty and blindness were worth it- to see and know Jesus, the Son of God! It is interesting that first he heard Jesus voice, obeyed his instructions, then Jesus came to him and he worshipped Jesus in person. I am so grateful that this man's story was preserved. What great love Jesus showed this blind man, not only in the healing, but also in Jesus finding him after he was cast out. What great love he has shown each of us! When I read this story, I hope that I would be brave, and not be afraid of the consequences of sharing my testimony of Jesus.

One of my friends suggested adding music to my time with the Lord. Singing to the Lord has opened another dimension of worship for me, especially the songs from my heart to the Lord. A few days ago I was singing, "Abide with Me" in my morning prayer time. It is a song of asking the Lord to be with us, to stay with us through any trials. I felt that the Lord also sings to us, individually, asking us to stay with Him, to "Abide with Me", to not leave his side.



Abide with me; 'tis eventide.
The day is past and gone;
The shadows of the evening fall;
The night is coming on.
Within my heart a welcome guest,
Within my home abide.
My little child, please stay with me;
Behold, 'tis eventide.
My little child, please stay with me;
Behold, 'tis eventide.

Abide with me; 'tis eventide.
Your walk today with me
Has made your heart within you burn,
As you communed with me.
Your earnest words have filled my soul
And kept me near thy side.
My little child, please stay with me;
Behold, 'tis eventide.
My little child, please stay with me;
Behold, 'tis eventide.

Abide with me; 'tis eventide,
And lone will be the night
If you cannot commune with me
Nor find in me my light.
The darkness of the world, you fear,
Please in my love abide
My little child, please stay with me;
Behold, 'tis eventide.
My little child, please stay with me;
Behold, 'tis eventide.

I also sang the other version of Abide with me, and thought of Jesus singing to me.

Abide with me! fast falls the eventide;
The darkness deepens; child, with me abide!
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
I will not leave you, abide with me.

Swift to its close ebbs out life’s little day;
Earth’s joys grow dim, its glories pass away;
Change and decay in all around you see;
I will not leave you, abide with me.

You need my presence every passing hour:
What but my grace can foil the tempter’s power?
Who like myself thy guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, oh, abide with me.


In whatever way we choose to worship the Lord, let our focus be only on Jesus. Let Him be our everything. Knowing Jesus, really knowing him like our best friend, is the only thing that matters.

What About the Saving Ordinances?

Baptisms have always been one of my favorite things to witness because of the beautiful spirit about them. When I was about 7 or 8 my family lived in Puerto Rico. Baptisms were at the beach, with usually not more than a dozen people present. The father of a girl in my school class was baptized. My Dad and a few of us children were there because Dad had a leadership assignment. The missionaries asked this father what song he would like to sing. He asked for "More Holiness Give Me."

"More holiness give me, more strivings within, More patience in suffering, more sorrow for sin. More faith in my Savior, more sense of His care. More joy in His service, more purpose in prayer. More gratitude give me, more trust in the Lord. More zeal for his glory, more hope in His Word. More tears for His sorrows, more pain at His grief. More meekness in trial, more praise for relief. More purity give me, more strength to overcome, More freedom from earth stains, more longings for home. More fit for the kingdom, more useful I'd be, More blessed and holy, more Savior like Thee." 

When we sing that song I always remember the simple humility of wanting to follow Jesus better from that moment on the beach. When I was a missionary in the Dominican Republic, I remember congratulating a newly baptized sister. She was overwhelmed with happiness and the Spirit, she gave me the biggest hug, wet clothes and all. When my daughter was baptized, I received another big, happy, wet hug from my daughter, also happy for her decision to follow Jesus. When I served in Primary, I attended many baptisms, and loved each one of them because of the special spirit present at baptisms. I follow a special needs orphanage in India on social media, because one of the girls had a medical condition like my daughter. They had a Bible study class for the older girls in the orphanage, held on the rooftop. After a few months of Bible study, several of the girls were baptized. Seeing the girls huge grins against the blue sky, and their happiness at knowing they were following Jesus through baptism made me cry. Surely the Lord was happy with these orphan girls in their public declaration to follow Jesus. Jesus is our example. "And now if the Lamb of God, he being holy, should have need to be baptized by water, to fulfill all righteousness, O then, how much more need have we, being unholy to be baptized, yea, even by water!" 2 Nephi 31:5

One of the questions I've been asked a few times since writing my first blog post goes something like this "What about the ordinances and covenants we make in the church and in the temples? Do you no longer believe these ordinances are essential to our salvation? Where else would you go for these saving ordinances?"

To answer this, let's consider a few more things. According to the scriptures, what actually are the saving ordinances? What does Christ Himself say about this? 

"And again I say unto you, ye must repent, and become as a little child, and be baptized in my name, or ye can in nowise receive these things. And again I say unto you, ye must repent, and be baptized in my name, and become as a little child or ye can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God. Verily, verily, I say unto you that this is my doctrine, and whoso buildeth upon this buildeth upon my rock, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against them. And whoso shall declare more or less than this, and establish it for my doctrine, the same cometh of evil, and is not built upon my rock but he buildeth upon a sandy foundation, and the gates of hell stand open to receive such when the floods come and the winds beat upon them." 3 Nephi 11:37-40

What does He say you have to do? What do these ordinances represent?

Ordinances are a physical representation of what you're supposed to experience in the heavenly, or spiritual realm. The ordinances performed in the church are a symbolic representation of what God expects us to literally do and to receive, which is to seek God's face and to return to God's presence, even in this life. The ordinances are an invitation to seek the Lord more fully, more deeply.  The ordinances of the church extend an invitation for us to seek and receive the Lord's greater blessings. The actual, for real, receiving and sealing of these blessings is between us and our Father in Heaven. They are an invitation to find wholeness in the Lord, in Him alone.

Baptism

Baptism is a sign of a change of heart, of repentance, of our sinful nature dying and being born again and becoming new in Christ. What happens to us spiritually is just as important as what happens in the physical baptism of being immersed in the water. The water baptism is an outward declaration that inwardly we are following the Lord more earnestly. When people are baptized in our church, they are afterward blessed by the laying on of hands and told to receive the Holy Ghost. It is an invitation for the person to receive the Holy Ghost. 

In the marriage ceremony, the word receive is also used, "receive him/her to be your husband/wife." So much is involved in that one small word "receive." We have to learn the way our spouse defines and understands love. Is it washing the dishes? Or time together? Or kind words in a note or card for them to read over and over? In receiving our spouse there is much to learn. We learn to get along when we are tired, hungry and stressed, how to listen better when it doesn't seem that important, how to speak more carefully so that love is communicated, how to avoid the things that offend them, how to give of ourselves and freely forgive each other without expecting anything in return.  We learn through much error. I am thankful to Edward for staying with me as we learn to love each other.

The things we do to receive our spouse are similar to what we do to receive the Holy Ghost or the companionship of the Lord's Spirit. We can ask ourselves, How does the Lord define love, how does he know we love Him? Can we follow Jesus even when we are at our wits end, stressed, hungry and tired?  Who do we turn to for comfort? Do we turn to the Lord when we are in need of comfort, or something else- food, addictions, screen time? Have we learned to listen to the whispering of the Lord's Spirit when it doesn't seem to be the most important thing at the moment? Do we speak with a desire to communicate love for our Lord and for others? What do we do that offends the Lord's Spirit, how can we avoid those things? This is all part of receiving the companionship of the Holy Ghost, or the Lord's Spirit. This is learning to have the Lord's Spirit with us, on a more permanent level. We make many mistakes, but our Lord likes working with broken people, and is amazing in His willingness to work with us when we feel so unworthy of His help. Like a gardener that loves to make his plants fruitful and beautiful, working with the dirt and mud that we live in is part of tending His garden. I am so grateful that the Lord is willing to forgive us and help us, and that He paid the price of our sins with His blood.

In marriage we learn to drop our expectations of what this relationship should look like and to simply be grateful for each other. Have we dropped the expectations of how God can speak to us, and love us, and just be grateful for his unique way of loving us? How does God speak to you? I have a friend that finds heart shaped rocks wherever she goes, a reminder of God's love to her. I see God's love to me in the hugs of my toddler that whispers in my ear "I love you. I'll always be proud of you." God's ways of speaking to and reaching his children are unique like we are.

Our baptism of water is intended to be accompanied with a baptism of fire and the Holy Ghost.  A baptism of fire and the Holy Ghost is something only God can bestow according to His will and timing, it is a purification of our hearts in preparation for Him to dwell with us. What we receive in the church is an invitation to work towards a closer relationship with the Lord. The developing of a relationship with the Lord is up to us, and how deeply we seek the Lord's companionship.

In the church, after people are baptized, they become members of the church and start moving towards priesthood ordinations, temple covenants, like the endowment and then temple marriage. We are taught that these ordinances are essential to our salvation.   But we often neglect a far more important matter- have we come to know Jesus? Have we really been born again of Christ? Have we become sons and daughters of God? Or have we just gone through the motions? Do we really know Him, as a friend and someone we talk with every day? Are we living the things he taught like- forgiving freely? Praying for our enemies? Loving those who are hard to love? If we aren't first sure of being sealed to Jesus, then no other ordinance or sealing will hold any weight in heaven. 

Temple Endowment

In the temple we learn that Adam and Eve's journey represents our journey. We are taught that as Adam and Eve did, we are to seek the Lord through faith in His Son, Jesus Christ, repentance, sacrifice, and prayer. As part of our journey we can experience ministering of angels. We seek to speak with the Lord through the veil and enter his presence. We can seek to speak with the Lord through the veil of mortality, and enter his presence in this life. All that is done in the temple is symbolic of greater blessings available to us. It is about ascension. What happens in the temple is supposed to be an invitation to show you what you can actually experience in receiving the Lord. Faith, prayer, repentance, sacrifice are part of the ascension process of receiving the Lord face to face. Most of us assume that we are a lot farther along than we really are in our journey to Christ. We assume that because we have made a promise, like baptism, or going through the temple, that we are sealed and are now celestial kingdom material.  We have only received the invitation to seek greater experiences with the Lord, to seek greater light and truth from Him directly. The "working out our salvation" is still before us, still to be done. Have we kept the promises we made with the Lord?

"O then despise not, and wonder not, but hearken unto the words of the Lord, and ask the Father in the name of Jesus for what things soever ye shall stand in need. Doubt not, but be believing, and begin as in times of old, and come unto the Lord with all your heart, and work out your own salvation with fear and trembling before him." Mormon 9:27

Are we ready to give up everything in our pursuit to know Christ? Our family? Our children? Our reputation? If we had to choose between being a member of our church and actually coming to know Jesus, which one would we choose? Do we love the Lord more than we love our church membership?

Receiving Answers to Prayer in the Temple- The place answers are received is not as important as the sincerity and faith we seek the Lord with. 

It is great that many members of the church go to the temple to receive answers to prayer. They come with sincere hearts, earnestly seeking the Lord in prayer, and the Lord answers them. Is it the place, the temple, or is it because they came with a sincere, humble heart, seeking the Lord? What does the Lord say about those who seek Him with a humble heart and ask in faith? He answers, he sees and hears their prayers. Hannah received answers to her prayers in the temple, even when the priests at the temple were wicked. The Lord answered her prayers, as he does today to any who seek him earnestly. 

For a long time when I really needed answers to prayer I went to the temple. It is a quiet, beautiful place that lends itself to prayer and communing with God. Hopefully we progress to the point where we can talk with the Lord and hear his voice not only in a temple, but anywhere. My favorite place to pray is in my closet, or on walks. Learning to still my mind enough to hear His voice and receive answers from Him is a challenge and a struggle at times. I really cherish the times when I do hear the Lord's voice clearly. Some examples in the scriptures of prayer are: Adam, Moses, Hannah, Daniel, Enos, Nephi and of course, Jesus. He taught us to pray to our Father in heaven, always asking for God's will and not our own.

I like to go on walks. Praying while I am walking helps me. Sometimes my neighbors see me walking, and ask if I am OK. I jokingly reply that walking helps me to keep my sanity. They don't see that my favorite walking companion, the Lord, is with me.  After talking with the Lord, I feel at peace, centered, refreshed and ready to face my trials again. Speaking with God and hearing his voice is better than going on a vacation, because I get little glimpses of heaven. How precious the Lord's words to us are. How I love Jesus for being willing to walk and talk with me! The Lord truly wants to have a relationship with us that is like a bridegroom and his bride- intimate, close and rewarding. 

Several years ago, when we lived in Pleasant Grove, a pair of robins built their nest outside our bedroom window. The robins were amazing parents. They kept their chicks dry through snow and rain storms, using their own bodies as a covering for the little birds from nature's storms. They helped me understand the Lord's analogy of gathering us under his wings (3 Nephi 10:4-6). His body and life was given, as a covering, a protection from the consequences of our sins. I love how the Lord puts testimonies of His love around us in nature! The chicks left the nest and began to fly in short spurts. Their parents still fed and protected them for some time after they left the nest. After a few days the robin chicks were flying. Watching them fly was an exhilarating feeling. They had been confined to a tiny nest the size of my hand, and now the open sky was theirs. I wished I could join them and fly. That exhilarating feeling is what it feels like to me to walk and talk with the Lord. Freedom from worldly cares. Realizing He is all I need. Knowing that He is my salvation, Him alone. 

One day I was walking alone in the hospital hallway to visit our baby in the newborn intensive care unit. We'd come so far since being admitted to the hospital, with me pregnant and several surgeries ahead for the baby. One surgery was over and we were close to going home now. The sun shone through a huge hallway window onto me, and the question came into my mind "What have you learned?"  I thought about it and my answer was "I have learned that God loves and takes care of his children." Worry, fear and uncertainty had been replaced with a peaceful assurance that things would work out according to the Lord's will.

With the continued need for medical care for our daughter, I have found that simple truth to continue to be true.  Jesus loves us, takes care of us and gives us our daily sustenance. His love and care is all we need. The Lord can show us the freedom in his love for us. There is freedom in knowing that He will take care of us and give us our daily bread through whatever may come. He is enough. He wants to walk with us and talk with us every day. What an amazing gift that is! He can show us that His understanding, wisdom and strength are more than enough to see us through all the challenges of life. To God be all of our praise and honor!

Sealing of families 

The temple ordinance of sealing families is an invitation to live in such a way, living as Christ showed us, that the Lord deems our relationships worth preserving for eternity. This is trying to achieve Zion, a condition of love and unity, in our own family.  One of the scripture definitions of Zion is "there were no poor among them." We hope no one feels poor or unloved in our family, we hope each person feels appreciated, loved, respected.  We have 8 children, each with a healthy sense of independence and ability to choose for themselves. That is a nice way of saying  that conflicts happen, multiple times a day, and it can get difficult. Working towards Zion in our own home is a marathon effort! I see families using manipulation, shame, guilt, peer pressure, force, threats and bribery, to achieve desired behaviors. If a member of the family chooses to live their life differently, they blame the person that left the family or the church for breaking up their eternal family. Was it ever an eternal family, to be preserved in heaven, if they treated each other this way? Whose methods were they using, God's or the devil's? As we learn in D&C 121, love, gentleness, persuasion, long suffering, kindness, meekness, love unfeigned, pure knowledge- these are God's methods. We take this far too lightly as parents and spouses. We assume we are a lot farther along than we really are when we say we have an eternal family. Receiving a temple sealing or marriage is a good beginning, but the true sealing is in the daily work of loving each other through our differences so that the Lord approves of our relationship. I am so thankful for the love and patience that our extended family has shown Edward and I as we have stepped away from full church activity. This has not been easy for them.

Focusing on our relationship with Christ, will help everything else fall into the right place- our relationship with our spouse, our children, our parents. Christ taught that we must be willing to give up everything, even our family to follow Him.  That was what it cost Jesus to bridge the divide between us and Him, a sacrifice of everything, even his own life. In following Him, we must be willing to give everything up. To sacrifice it all for Him as He did for us. He is our example to follow. In the LDS church, eternal families are such a huge focus and selling point, that following Jesus sometimes takes a back seat to families being together. Christ has to be at the center if the relationships are going to last. Putting Jesus first means that our family relationships may be strained and broken at times because we have chosen to follow Him above all else. Jesus told us it would be that  way. He taught his disciples, "Think not that I am come to send peace on earth; I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother  . . . And a man's foes will be they of his own household. He who loveth father and mother more than me, is not worthy of me; and he who loveth son or daughter more than me, is not worthy of me" (Matt 10:28-34) Jesus's grace, His love and His walk with us are enough to fill our hearts' longing for close relationships. He is enough. What a loving and wonderful God we worship! 

Are church ordinances necessary to know the Lord?

If the goal is to fly, I compare what we receive in the church to receiving a feather. The feather is a symbol of something greater, a symbol of what we were created to do- to fly. A feather is beautiful, smooth, light weight, air tight- an amazing creation. It is simple, meaningful, and a good start, as long as we are humble enough to continue to search for more light directly from the Lord. Hopefully we realize that our goal is much greater than church membership or progression as it is measured in the church.  The goal is to fly- to break free from the pull this fallen earth has on us, to hear his voice, to learn to speak with Him, to walk with Him, to hear his words for us individually, to pierce the veil and come into the Lord's presence. To seek His face, in this life.  A feather is not flying any more than the ordinances received at church are saving. A lot more effort and a lot more reliance on the Lord is required to reach our goal. Symbols, like the temple, can point us to coming to Christ, but they are not the end goal. Christ himself is our goal, truly knowing Him and being with Him.

Do we need to go to the temple and receive the ordinances there, to fully receive the Lord? Some of the Lord's children feel so deeply their complete reliance on God, that they have sought and received the Lord personally, without being members of our church or going through a temple. The main point of church activity is to come to know the Lord, and that is between us and the Lord. I had a friend with a terrible illness tell me that Jesus was with her. "What else is there? . . .  I am His, and He is mine!" she said. When she first said that, I thought "Well . . . there's temples, eternal  families, serving missions, following a prophet, ministering, serving in the church, doing the temple work for your dead, genealogy, tithing and all kinds of things!" With time I see that she was right, the only thing that really matters is to know the Lord. All those other things can keep us so busy that we never come to know the Lord, personally. My friend didn't belong to any denomination, she only belonged to Jesus. She had a surety in her relationship with Jesus, and spoke of Him every time I spoke with her, like she was talking about her best friend. She knew her relationship with the Lord was the only thing in her life that was really hers. The Lord can call, speak to, have His angels minister to, and show himself to anyone, with or without them having gone through the temple. He does not require a beautiful building to do His work, to save his children. He can do His own work of saving his children. 

A few years ago, Edward had a conversation with a homeless man. It took a little time for this man to open up, but on this very unusual day Edward was alone and had time to talk. This man told Edward, "My mother raised me right. I don't do drugs or steal or lie." He shared how hard it was to always be cold at night, sleep on the cement, to not be able to set his bag down without it getting stolen, and how invisible he felt, sleeping under bridges and forgotten spaces. No one even notices him or the other homeless people as they speed by in their nice cars.  I happened to call Edward as he was with this homeless man, his name was Tyrell. After I called, Tyrell told Edward "Now, that's something I've never had . . . A cell phone. Even if I did have one, I wouldn't have anybody to call!" Edward asked Tyrell "What gets you through it? " Tyrell answered "God. I talk to God, and He gets me through it." That complete reliance on God to get us through our challenges is what it's about. What gets you through your difficulties? Is it God? His help is real.

 In the hearts of some of God's children, God may have unbeknown already bestowed a purifying baptism of fire and the Holy Ghost in response to the prayers heard only by Him. The Lord may have sent angels to minister and bless one of his children. God may have visited one of his children personally in prison, or in their illness unknown to anyone but them alone. 

Many of God's children have already sought and received the Lord to much greater degrees than those of us in the LDS church have. A book that opened my eyes to God's workings among his children was "The Heavenly Man: The Remarkable True Story of Chinese Christian Brother Yun." Another book (later made into a movie) along the same lines was "Tortured for Christ by Richard Wurmbrand." Both of these are true accounts of men and their families who were imprisoned for their testimonies of the Lord. They tell about Jesus being with them as they were tortured, and how Jesus saved them miraculously. There are many other people who have sought and received the Lord in person. 

God is no respecter of people. Any of God's children can receive his help- the Christian jailed and tortured for refusing to deny their belief in Jesus that wonders if their family is also persecuted, the orphan that wonders if they are really worthy of love and why no mom or dad has come for them, the homeless man that feels invisible, alone and forgotten under a bridge. 

There are many examples in the scriptures of people who have come to know God and see Him without belonging to a religious organization. They received directly from God, just as we can. Abraham sought for greater knowledge, for the greater happiness that is found in following the Lord. He left everything to seek the Lord more fully. And the Lord gave him directly the knowledge he was seeking. Adam, Noah, Moses, Isaiah, Peter, John, James, Enoch, Nephi, Alma, Abinadi, Moroni. God taught them individually and they received from Him what was necessary for their progression and their mission in life. We can receive directly from God as they did. That is the whole point of the promises we make in the church- to invite us to go directly to God and receive more light and truth from Him, the source of all light and truth. 

We hear leaders of the church say that the focus of our worship should be the temple. Members feel that once they have been through the temple they have received the greatest blessings attainable. This is misleading, the Lord should be the focus of our worship. I hope we are not like a person that holds a feather and says they need no more. God is eternal, endless, and his amazing works are never ending. We should always want more and more of Him! It is the Lord that will save us, and our relationship with Him. 

Do we know Him? Are we familiar with His voice, do we recognize when He calls us? Can we say "I am his, and He is mine" and know that He is all we need? What experiences with the Lord have you had that have confirmed the covenants made in the temple? If you haven't had any of these experiences, where do you really stand in relation to the Lord? Do you really believe in the ministering of angels? Have you had angels minister to you? Do you really believe the Lord's words when He said that if you receive him, he will come and make his abode with you? Do you really believe that? 

If you don't really believe in these things can happen to you, you're practicing religion, but not exercising faith. Most people are content with practicing religion. Maybe you are satisfied with where you are, or maybe you haven't been taught that more is available to you. The temple ordinances are symbolic of a literal journey to Christ. The culmination of this is not in the temple, but in the actual experience of receiving Christ personally as the Second Comforter. The baptism of fire and the Holy Ghost is the First Comforter. 

As beautiful as temple buildings are, the Lord doesn't need us to be in a temple building to teach us how to come to Him. This is about you coming to Christ. Wherever you are- on a rooftop, in a hospital, in your closet, forgotten by all except God, under a bridge, it doesn't matter to God where you are. So many of God's children live in challenges that only God and his angels see- the refugees, the orphans, those enslaved by human trafficking, the homeless, those with physical or mental illness, those who are imprisoned. To think that the ability God has to save his children in their extremity is dependent on each of us receiving ordinances in temples or at church, is to underestimate severely the depth of God's love for his children. He will walk with us wherever we are, and give us each the manna in our wilderness. He has earned the name of Savior. 

You are the temple God wants to dwell in

Of all the beautiful temples and sacred buildings created for worship in the world, of all the amazing places on Earth or heaven he could be, he wants to dwell in the hearts of his children. "Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away." Revelations 21:3-4. Our Lord is humble in his desire to dwell with us.  When the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris was burning, on the very week that Christianity remembers Jesus sacrifice, it felt unreal. I prayed and asked why the Lord would allow that to happen, on this week, of all weeks. My answer was: our hearts are to become the sanctuary and temple of God's spirit, instead of expecting God to reside in the elaborate, beautiful buildings of world religions. How humble and willing to walk with us and work with us our magnificent God is. We are the temple he would like to dwell in! That is incredible to me, given our fallen nature and constant backslidings.

Let us seek God more earnestly, more deeply, more sincerely, more humbly, and receive His invitation to come and see Him. Let us put aside whatever it is that is keeping us from seeking the Lord more fully. Let us invite him more fully into our lives, our conversation, our thoughts, and our hearts.

El Señor Cuida a Sus Pajaritos

Pajarito en plantas de menta afuera de nuestra casa

Cuando estaba esperando a nuestra bebé, y su vida balanceaba frágilmente, observe a un pequeño pajarito afuera de mi ventana. Era época de invierno, había medio metro de nieve, y este pajarito tan chiquito estaba vivo, comiendo, y aparecía estar muy bien. Al mirar a este pequeño pajarito sobrevivir condiciones tan congeladas y ásperas, era como observar un milagro. Me sentí asombrada que las piernas del pajarito podían estar circulando sangre caliente, y que podía encontrar comida y sobrevivir los inviernos tan frígidos por tantos meses. ¿Cómo pudieron un millón de milagros juntarse tan perfectamente para sostener la vida de este pajarito? Pensé en todos los milagros que este pajarito tenía dentro de él- el latir de su corazón, el respirar de sus pulmones, un cerebro y columna espinal, intestinos y muchas otras partes. La vida misma lo sentía más un milagro, por la situación frágil de mi bebé.  Las palabras del Señor vinieron a mi mente "¿No se venden dos pajarillos por un cuarto? Con todo, ni uno de ellos cae a tierra sin vuestro Padre. Pues aun vuestros cabellos están todos contados. Asi que, no temaís: más valeís vosotros que muchos pajarillos." Mateo 10:29-31.

Yo sabía que el Señor nos cuidaría, como Él cuida los pajaritos. En verdad, Él nos ha cuidado siempre. El nacimiento de nuestra hija y sus primeros años fueron un tiempo de ver con más claridad el amor del Señor y los milagros que Él pone en nuestras vidas. Mis palabras no son suficientes para describir la gratitud que siento al ver la ayuda del Señor. ¡Cuanto nos cuida y nos ama el Señor! 

Cuando salgo a caminar, a veces le pido al Señor que Él camine conmigo, y hable conmigo, que me ayude a comprender las muchas cosas con las cuales yo necesito ayuda. Es maravilloso y asombroso que Él en verdad camina y habla con nosotros si le pedimos. Yo soy nadie especial, tengos muchas fallas y problemas, pero he sentido al Señor caminando conmigo, y dándome consejo y entendimiento.

En estas caminatas, el Señor me mostró un poquito mas acerca de como Él cuida los pajaritos. En los meses del verano el Señor prepara alimento para los pajaritos en el invierno. Las plantas y flores crecen con semillas en la parte más alta de la planta. Las plantas son suficiente fuertes que no se quiebran con las muchas tempestades del invierno. Si pudieras ver a estas plantas en el verano, pensarías que son demasiadas débiles para mantenerse firmes en medio metro de nieve. Pero estas plantas si se mantienen firmes, sin quebrarse con la nieve pesada. Las cabezas de las plantas y sus semillas alimentan a los pajaritos el invierno. Vemos la mano del Señor alimentando a sus pajaritos.

Las plantas se mantienen firmes en medio metro de nieve para alimentar a los pajaritos

Los árboles pierden todas sus hojas en el otoño, pero si tienen frutas o semillas, las ramas saben que no hay que soltar a la fruta ni tampoco hay que soltar a las semillas. ¿Cómo saben las ramas de los árboles a soltar a las hojas, pero no soltar a las semillas y frutas? Vemos la mano del Señor, asegurándose que sus pajaritos tienen alimento en el invierno en las semillas y frutas de los árboles. 

Árbol en pleno invierno, sin hojas pero con semillas rojas

A los pajaritos les encanta comer esas frutas o semillas en los árboles, especialmente en el invierno, cuando todo ha estado congelado en hielo y nieve por meses. Las frutas son altas en vitamina C, lo cual es difícil de encontrar en el invierno. Después que las hojas se han caído de los árboles en el otoño y las ramas de los árboles están desolados, el Señor ha dado árboles de hoja perenne como albergue para los pajaritos. El Señor prepara una solución para cada necesidad, aun antes de que sepamos pedir la ayuda de Dios. El Señor ya tiene un milagro en etapa de desarrollo para nosotros. Me siento tan agradecida que el Señor nos cuida en todas las estaciones de nuestras vidas. El Señor cuida a sus hijos, más que a los pajaritos. ¡Qué grande es el amor de Dios por nosotros!

Una vez estaba caminando en el parque en el otoño . Las hojas ya se habían caído de los árboles. Me sentía frustrada con un problema con mis hijos. No me acuerdo de los detalles, pero me sentía enojada y desanimada.  Le pedí al Señor que me ayudara. El Señor me contestó, pidiéndome que mirara a los árboles alrededor de mi, los árboles de hoja perenne y los árboles sin hojas. "¿Dónde están los pajaritos?" el Señor me preguntó. Vi que los pajaritos solamente estaban en los árboles de hoja perenne. Los árboles sin hojas no tenían ni un pajarito en sus ramas. Entendí lo que el Señor me estaba diciendo: si quiero que mis hijos regresen a mi, como los pajaritos regresan a los árboles de hoja perenne, mi amor necesita ser constante, no puede cambiar con las estaciones del tiempo. Mis sentimientos de enojo se desaparecieron, con el entendimiento que me dió el Señor. Hice la resolución de amar mejor a mis hijos. Muchas veces cuando vengo al Señor con un problema, su respuesta es corregirme. Él cambia mi manera de pensar, haciendome enfocarme más en seguirlo a Él, en amar a otros como Él nos ama, en vez de cambiar mi situación. Me siento tan agradecida por el Maravilloso Consejero que tenemos en Jesús. Solamente necesitaba mostrar más amor y compasión a mis hijos. Hay situaciones en que tenemos que enfrentar temas difíciles, pero por ahora, solo necesitaba relajarme y mostrar más amor. 

  

¿Has visto en tu vida como el Señor ha preparado un milagro para ti, antes de que necesitarías ese milagro? ¿Cuándo has visto la mano del Señor dándote precísamente lo que necesitabas, en maneras que solo el Señor podría haber hecho? ¿Apreciamos cómo el Señor interviene en nuestras vidas para bendecirnos? ¿Veo el amor abundante que Jesús me está mostrando? Espero que podamos abrir nuestros ojos a los muchos milagros, pequeños y grandes, los muchos mensajes de amor que el Señor nos da.