Bees and Resting in the Lord

In my last post, I wrote a little about bees. This is a continuation of that. The Lord showed me a little more about bees this week that left me in awe of nature's testimony of God. But first I wanted to introduce you to the wonder of bees so you will appreciate more God's hand in creating bees.

I looked in my journal notes and found this from 10 years ago, about bees. At the time we had 5 children. "I went to a beekeeping class. I never intended to learn about bees, but one of our neighbors invited me to bring our older boys to watch him tend his bees. I took the boys over, and somehow my son and I ended up with beekeepers gear on, surrounded by humming bees. It was awesome to be surrounded by the bees humming and be safe from their stings and be able to watch them so up close. It felt like I got a peek into their world. Their humming was like calming music. My beekeeping neighbor told a few people in our church ward about a beekeeping class, so I went with 2 of my friends from our church.  As I listened to the class, I was amazed at what clean, intelligent, hardworking, amazing insects bees are.  Bees orient themselves every time they leave the hive, by finding the sun. The sun is how they navigate. When they come back to the hive, after finding a new source of nectar, they will do a waggle dance to show the other bees where the nectar they are carrying came from. Bees will share the nectar from the flower so that the other worker bees will recognize the flower’s nectar when they taste it.  They store nectar in the honeycomb cells they make. From what I gathered, honey is condensed flower nectar. Many foods that we eat are entirely dependent on the work of bees pollinating the flowers. Without bees we would not have most fruits, vegetables and nuts. Bees are small but critical to our food supply.

A beehive is clean and organized. Like my Mom used to say “A place for everything and everything in its place”. There is a place for honey and nectar, another place where the bees keep their eggs, and of course a place for the queen. When a bee hatches from its cell, one of the first things it does is clean out the cell so that it can be used again by another bee. They don’t allow anything dirty or dead in the hive. Dead bees are carried out. If a mouse or beetle gets in, they will kill it by stinging it. If it’s too heavy for the bees to carry out of the hive, they will cover it with a very thick layer of propolis (tree resin) so that it won’t contaminate the hive or honey.

In the winter bees stay in their hive mostly, eating the honey they produced and stored in the summer. Given the opportunity, they will continue to produce and store honey for several years of storage. Beekeepers will leave the bees with 1 year’s worth of honey in the hive, the extra honey is harvested. In the winter bees only take a few flights out of the beehive on warmer days, “cleansing flights” to eliminate waste. If the weather is too cold and they can’t take a cleansing flight, bees just wait and wait, and sometimes get bowel problems because they don’t want to eliminate or poop in their hive. They keep their beehive at 93 degrees Fahrenheit (33.9 degrees Celsius) all year- winter and summer. In the summer bees use their wings to fan the hive and keep it cool. In the winter bees seal up all the cracks in the hive with propolis, and they huddle together in a mass. They take turns being on the outside, just like penguins in Antarctica take turns being on the outside of their huddle for warmth. During the winter, a bee can live 4-6 months. In the summer a bee lives a much shorter life, only 4- 6 weeks. A bee will literally work itself to death, working for the hive. It will work so hard to carry nectar that it will fray its wings, trying to carry as much nectar as possible back to the hive.  It will gather and carry almost its own weight in nectar.  Bees are the only insect that makes food for people to eat. Bees are very sensitive to insecticides and pollution. A single bee returning to the hive with insecticide can make an entire hive sick, and possibly kill the hive. If an insecticide is to be used, it should be sprayed when the bees are inactive, when the sun isn't up- after sunset or before sunrise. The bee population decline in recent years may be signs of increasing pollution in our earth.

As I was taking this class, and thinking about what amazing insects bees are, something that I hadn’t understood about my Grandma Bonnie clicked, and I understood a bit more about her. I always felt that Grandma Bonnie died too soon- 74, I wish she could have lived much longer. I had in my mind reasoned that she worked too hard, and that giving birth and raising 10 children had taken too hard a toll on her body. I’d thought to myself that I didn’t want to work quite so hard. I like the saying “Take it easy.” Thinking about the bees, I realized Grandma Bonnie was like one of the bees, she knew what her purpose was in life, and she worked hard to serve God, her family and community. She didn’t worry about herself, as much as she worried about those that could benefit from her labors. I can be a little more like that. A long easy life isn’t the goal, serving others as the Savior did is the goal. It reminded me of what President Kimball said, “My life is like my shoes—to be worn out in service”. I’m not saying we’re going to have 10 children, but I'm beginning to understand that a lot of work is OK.

I came home and told my children about the bees. After my enthusiastic bee lecture, I said “You see kids, we can all be a little more like the bees. You know the first thing they do when they hatch is clean their rooms.” Ethan (9 years old then) quickly answered “Yeah, but they only live 4-6 weeks. What do you want to do, work us to death?” He has always made me laugh with his sense of humor. Ethan has grown up now, he is 19. I never have to remind him to clean his room, he is meticulously clean and a very hard worker. How did 10 years go by so quickly and he grow up so fast? He was the one to come with me to see our neighbor's bees. He is a gift in my life, as are all of my children.

As I mentioned in my last post, When I need a break or something to clear my mind, I sit outside and watch the sky, the trees, the flowers and the bees at work. It helps me remember that God is in charge. Bees love the mint plants that spread themselves across our flower beds. It's easy to notice the differences between bees and wasps as they fly around the flowers. Bees fly or dance with a graceful motion, and they purposefully fly directly to the center of the flowers, to feed on the nectar. Wasps are erratic in their flight and not centered on the flower. Wasps will land anywhere on a plant and eat anything- the leaves, the nectar, even other insects. They are very different than the bees that only eat nectar. For us, Jesus is the center. He is the nectar, the sweetness. If we take a lesson from the bees, we nourish ourselves with Jesus' love- it is the sweetest, most meaningful and true nourishment.  Developing and nurturing a relationship with Jesus is the most important thing we can do. Seeking to hear him, to do his will, and to see him is our heart's desire.

One morning last week I was walking at the park. Where I live, the sun comes over the mountain at 7:30 am in the summer, so I was up before sunrise- but it wasn't very early. There was a sunflower on the trail, when I looked at it, I saw there was a bee curled up motionless in the middle of the flower.  I didn't know if the bee was dead, so I nudged it. It fell out of the flower and began crawling on the ground. It had been sleeping and I woke it up. Oops! I didn't know bees slept in sunflowers!

I checked another sunflower, and there were a couple bees sleeping in it too. I walked around the park checking the sunflowers and found many bees sleeping in sunflowers, in the centers of the sunflowers. I motioned to a couple of my friends that were also walking to come and see the bees sleeping in the flowers. It was so sweet to watch the bees sleeping- normally it is hard to take a picture of a bee because they are so busy and active, but here they were curled up, covered with pollen and fast asleep. When the sun came up, the light on the bees woke them up and they began their work. I checked many of the sunflowers where the bees had been sleeping, and they were now awake and busy at work. It felt like the Lord was showing me something really special.

Sunflowers face the sun, and follow the sun as it moves across the sky.  I love sunflowers for that trait of always following the sun. Bees also use the sun for orientation and direction, they are only active when the sun is out. Do I orient my thoughts and actions by the Son of God? Do I care more about pleasing the Lord and doing his will or being acceptable to my friends and family?

I thought about the bees, getting ready for the dark night. Curling up next to the nectar, their source of food. A sunflower is easily bent and swayed by the wind, and the bees could easily get knocked out of the sunflower by a curious person walking by (me!) or anything else. Bees are willing to be exposed to the elements if they can be close to the nectar. When the darkness of night comes, I want to be like the bees that wait for the Son's return resting by the sweet nectar. Waiting close to the nectar seems a better place to meet the returning sun than sleeping in a hive. With winter, all the bees will be gathered into the hive to keep each other warm. For us, Jesus is the nectar, the sweetness and the center of our life. I think about the early missionaries far away from the comforts and safety of their home, teaching the gospel. They were like the bees sleeping in their fields of labor.

There is something special about sleep. Children always look the sweetest when they are sleeping. My children are past the age of falling asleep in my arms, but I loved it when they did because it meant they felt safe and protected in my care. Jesus fell asleep in the boat during a storm, He trusted in his Father's care. Bees sleeping next to the nectar of the flowers, out in the open and away from their hive was also very tender to see. Do I trust and rest in the Lord's care? The scriptures talk about entering into the Lord's rest. What does that mean for me?

To me the sweetness of knowing Jesus is knowing that his love is personal, given individually to me. That He loves me just as I am-  broken, sinful and messy at times. I often feel like a toddler that can't help but get into messes every time I turn around. Recently we went to the park with my children. We made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. It was comical to see how much of a mess our little 4 year old can make, even with me watching her closely. She pulled the sandwich apart, jam and peanut butter were all over her face- from ear to ear, she rested her elbow and arm in the jam side of the bread she tore apart, getting jam from her elbow to her wrist, and touched her water bottle with her sticky hands. It took a few baby wipes and 3 trips to the bathroom to wash her hands while she was eating her sandwich. Easily distracted, she didn't finish her sandwich. What was left of her sandwich was such a mess that I threw it away. We got in the car to come home, and she was asking for the rest of her sandwich, crying that she didn't finish her sandwich. We got home, she ate, had a bath, and then a nap. When she sleeps we all can relax. I must be that messy toddler to Jesus. It doesn't take hardly anything for me to get upset, say rude things, and lose focus. I bet the Lord is relieved when I fall asleep too sometimes!

With my children, one of the sweet things is helping them get all cleaned up. I love the sweetness of a child who is so dependent on help, and how fresh and clean they are after getting cleaned up. Recently the Lord showed me that helping me get cleaned up was also sweet to him, and that as I take joy in a freshly bathed, cleaned baby, he also takes joy in me when I am clean. An image of Heavenly Mother lovingly and joyfully pouring water over her child and bathing them came to my mind.

Jesus' love for me was so much that He willingly allowed himself to suffer my pains and paid for my sins that I might become clean, and be saved if I will repent and come to Him. His sacrifice and love for us is our center. It is what grounds us, and puts everything in its right perspective. Knowing that we are loved deeply, and in his eyes are worth the sacrifice.  Our center is knowing that Jesus poured out his precious, holy life for us personally. Do you feel Jesus' love for you personally, individually? It is more than just knowing about the Lord, it is about knowing him as your friend, and experiencing him in your life. I have heard some people talk about the Lord, and they recite many facts about his life. I wish that instead of the facts and verses in the scriptures, they would tell me what Jesus has done for them personally, how he has made their life more meaningful, and how he is teaching them individually. How is the Lord leading you personally, how is the Lord helping you and teaching you?

In 3 Nephi 11 of the Book of Mormon, we read about Jesus' visit to the Americas. Jesus says "I am the light and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter cup which the Father hath given me, and have glorified the Father in taking upon me the sins of the world, in the which I have suffered the will of the Father in all things from the beginning." His invitation to the people then is the same invitation he gives you and me today, and it is meant for us. "Arise and come forth unto me, that you may thrust your hands into my side, and also that ye may feel the prints of the nails in my hands and in my feet, that ye may know that I am the God of Israel and the God of the whole earth, and have been slain for the sins of the world." Jesus invited the people to come and feel his wounds in his hands and feet, to know that he was slain for our sins. The people came and felt the prints of the nails in his hands and feet. They fell down and worshipped Jesus, proclaiming "Hosanna! Blessed be the name of the Most High God!" Then Jesus calls Nephi, one of his disciples and friends. "Nephi arose and went forth and bowed himself before the Lord and did kiss his feet." Nephi kissed Jesus' feet, it is interesting that this detail is recorded, Nephi kissing Jesus' feet. The marks of the nails were personal to Nephi. A visual and physical tie of what Jesus had done for him personally.

"For God so loved the world that He gave his only Begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

Jesus is our sure foundation. Jesus himself is the sure foundation. Much of what we spend our time working for can be taken away, but Jesus' love for us will never be taken away. Knowing Jesus personally is the sweetness and nectar in our life. It is not enough to know we are loved by the Lord, to return the love is important too. What am I doing to show Jesus that I love Him? Do I trust Him? Listen to his words to me? Do I seek his will every day?

When Jesus returns, it will be like the sun coming up after a dark night. In the light of Jesus' love, darkness disappears and everything becomes clear, our challenges have meaning.  Whatever we learn, whatever we teach, may it bring us to our knees in gratitude for Jesus and his great sacrifice and love for us.

Look for His Love

 A few months ago, I was thinking about all the chaos in the world. I was worried if our family would be OK through all that is unfolding. Many more of the events prophesied in the scripture are still to come, part of the cleansing process readying the earth and his people for the Lord's return. I asked the Lord to be with us through the current trials and those still to come. The Lord told me something I have thought about over and over again. The Lord asked me, "Where were you when your child was in the hospital for surgeries?"  I thought back, I was with her the whole time she was in the hospital for her surgeries. I could not leave her side when she needed me most. He told me that is how he feels about me. He will not leave me alone when I need him most. He asked me to pray, think of Him, and read his words so that his spirit will be with me. What a blessing to know He will be closest to us, and not leave our side when our needs are the greatest. What a loving Heavenly Father, Heavenly Mother and Savior we have. It was a new concept to me- that they are helping me because that is who they are. They are full of love for us, their children. I can do better in thinking of the Lord more, praying more, and reading his words more. 

"Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me." Isaiah 49:15-16 ESV

 When things are noisy or chaotic in my home, I go sit outside for a minute.  Seeing the sky, the clouds, the trees and God's creations helps me to remember God's love and that he is in charge. I have been enjoying watching the bees in our yard and garden. The bees love the miniature white flowers shaped in a cluster on top of the mint plants, they are the perfect size for the bees tiny mouths to drink nectar from.  Bees have a calming hum, it is like music.  They fly or dance with a graceful motion, and they purposefully fly directly to the center of the flowers, to feed on the nectar. Wasps are erratic in their flight and not centered on the flower. Wasps will land anywhere on a plant and eat anything- the leaves, the nectar, even other insects. They are very different than the bees that only eat nectar. For us, Jesus is the center. He is the nectar, the sweetness. If we take a lesson from the bees, we nourish ourselves with Jesus' love- it is the sweetest, most meaningful and long-lasting nourishment.  Jesus is the embodiment of our Heavenly Parents love for us, his sacrifice and life given willingly for us. Jesus' amazing love and grace for us is the sweetness we long for, and He gives meaning to our lives.  There are many things we can try to nourish ourselves with- but only Jesus fills our heart's longing. My moments with Him are the best moments of my day. His words are food for my soul. How much of what I let into my life is distracting or preventing me from going to the Lord for comfort and nourishment?

One more story with our child with medical needs- she spends more time with me because of her medical needs but I love all of my children and they have each taught me invaluable lessons. She made a game for me, hiding little post-it notes with drawings on them. She hid them in my closet in funny places- under stacks of folded clothing, by my shoes, in the bed linens that are folded up. She wanted me to find all the post-it notes, they were supposed to lead me to one very special post-it note with a message. The very special post-it note had a message "I love you Mom" with a little stick figure drawing of me. She was so happy as I found her hidden notes, and loved seeing my surprise as I found them. She gave me a big hug when I found them. I am still finding her post-it notes in my closet.

Hang on to that thought about the post-it notes with an "I love you" written on them, I will come back to it in a minute. On my first blog post, I told a little of our story and how the Lord has been teaching us. I wrote that the more I know about the Lord Jesus, the more I want to know. How did he give his life with so much love and forgiveness, even in his last moments? Why did he do that for us? How did he have the strength to do what he did? What is it that makes him happy? What breaks his heart?

As time has passed, the Lord has answered my questions, a little at a time. The Lord told me one thing that breaks his heart is when we don't see all the gifts of love he has put around us. When we don't see his love for us. All around us are little messages of love, reminding us that Jesus loves us.  Like my child's post-it notes. How often do we walk right by special blessings and gifts of love from Jesus without noticing or thanking him for them? Look around you when you step outside. Look at the blue sky covering the earth- that is his love that covers you and me. Look at the clouds that give shade from the sun and water for the earth- that is also his love. The trees, plants, everything around us testifies of Jesus' love for us. Nature testifies of our Heavenly Father and Mother's love and Jesus. 

As I think back to the times when we were in the hospital with our child, there were blessings all around us, and the sweetness of the Lord's help was felt more than I'd ever experienced it before, even though she went through very difficult things. In thinking of the challenges ahead in preparation for the Second Coming, I look forward to more closeness with the Lord. Knowing that He will be with us takes away the fear. 

One of my favorite scriptures is "I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up." D&C 84:88. This was given to missionaries who were going out to teach, but also applies to us when we are on the Lord's errand. 

How has the Lord blessed you and shown his love to you? Am I looking for the messages of love around me from our Heavenly Parents and Jesus? Dear Lord, help me to see you. To see your love for me. Open my eyes, my ears to hear you. Clear my mind of worry that I can remember your words that are sweet like honey. Please be with me through what lies ahead.

One of my children made this card one year, and it reminds me of Jesus' love for us. "My hands are full of love for you" it reads, with flowers on the hands a heart in the middle.

Our Calm in the Storm

This week some of my children and I hiked a hill by the windmills in Spanish Fork Canyon, it has a large cross on it. It was so windy, it was one of those rare moments when you feel the powerful force of nature, and how small and insignificant we are. We had to shout to hear each other speak, the wind was so strong. Another person was hiking, she said she lives close to the hill and has never seen it as windy as it was today. It took energy to focus on the rocky trail that was steep in a few places because the wind felt like it would blow us over. We saw a huge boulder on the hill and went to the rock for shelter. The large rock stopped the wind, and we rested in the shadow of the rock before going to the cross. 

Once we were back in the wind, the kids loved leaning into the wind to see how much of their weight the wind would support- for them the wind added to the adventure. We took a few pictures at the cross then headed back. 

On the way back we rested at another huge boulder to get a break from the wind. In the shadow and shelter of the rock, it was still and quiet. It made us think of the scriptures that talk about Jesus being our Shelter, our Rock, and that in his shadow we can rest. I came home and looked up the scriptures that talk about this.

"The Lord is my Rock, and my Fortress, and my Deliverer; my God, my Strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my High Tower. I will call upon the Lord, for he is worthy to be praised; so shall I be saved from mine enemies." Psalm 18:2-3

"My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my Rock and my Salvation; he is my defence; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory; the Rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah (forever)." Psalm 62:5-8

One of the boulders had a hollowed-out round spot on the sheltered side. The hollowed part of the rock was shaped like a hollow part of a hand, and the thought came that Jesus holds us in his hand. The kids commented that the hollowed part was big enough to sleep in, and that even with the wind, this spot looked so safe you could camp here. 

Jesus felt so safe in Heavenly Father's care, that he slept in the ship during the storm, when his disciples were afraid. That is a lot of faith and trust in his Father's care- to rest, and be able to sleep in a storm. I used to love it when my children fell asleep in my arms, because it meant they felt safe and protected in my care. 

"And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat over into the ship; and he was in the hinder part of the ship asleep on a pillow; and they awoke him, and said unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish? And he arose and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace; be still; the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? How is it that ye have no faith? And they feared exceedingly, and said one to another, What manner of man is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?" Mark 4:30-33

Do we trust that we are in the Lord's care? I love the phrase Jesus used, "Peace; be still" followed by "and there was a great calm." Do I turn to Jesus to calm the storm in me? Am I focused on Jesus, or am I constantly checking news reports to see how bad the storm is? Would he say to me like he said to his beloved disciples, "Why are ye so fearful? How is it that ye have no faith?" Where is my faith? Is it in Jesus, Jesus alone? Where am I putting my faith? Is my faith in other people or in Jesus? Am I at rest in Jesus' care?

The things that were mild stresses before feel much more daunting with the pandemic. Some of the added difficulties feel like gusts of winds that are trying to knock us off our feet.  Jesus is our rock, our rest, our shelter. With Jesus taking care of us, it will be OK. It was interesting on our hike that the wind was the strongest where the cross was. At the cross is where Jesus took the final punishment for us, bearing all the sorrows and pains of our sins.  He also knelt and suffered for us in the Garden of Gethsemane, bleeding from every pore, suffering more than we can imagine. He took the storm for us, so that He can be our calm place, our shelter. How thankful I am that the God we worship would take time to teach us, walk alongside us, and give us reassurance that we are under his care and held in the hollow of his hand. 

Thankfully during this pandemic we have felt more clarity of priorities and unexpected blessings. With the fire evacuation in our area a couple years ago, one of our daughter's health issues that had been ongoing for months, resolved. This time with the quarantine, we have also seen blessings in her health and progress which we have prayed a long time for- although other challenges remain. More time at home has been a blessing for us, more time to read, more time to learn together, more time to spend in the garden. It has been a time to think about what matters most. Some challenges during this time have been figuring out homeschool for so many children, in addition to daily medical care, monitoring long term health issues, and job loss. We trust that God will take care of every need, we have learned from experience that God loves and cares for His children in every situation. We are safe in his care and rejoice in his goodness to us.

We saw some sego lilies on our walk. Their shape is like 3 separate flowers that combine to form one.

"Your Heavenly Father will provide for you, whatsoever things ye need for food, what you shall eat: and for raiment, what ye shall wear or put on . . . Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin. And yet I say unto you, that even Solomon, in all his glory, was not arrayed like one of these. Therefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is and tomorrow is cast into the oven, how much more will he not provide for you if ye are not of little faith." Matthew 6:28-34

I love this song "You Raise Me Up". It is how I feel about Jesus.

Through Heaven's Eyes

Jesus counseled us to become like a little child. "At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, and said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever, therefore, shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:1-3.

If you observe a little child, they are full of love for everyone around them. They forgive quickly and give hugs and smiles freely. They might not have much, but they smile quickly, laugh with and love everyone around them. Whatever they are feeling, they are honest about it.  Our 3-year-old brings us so many laughs with her honesty. I love it when my children give their honest commentary on situations, they are innocent and without pretense, and often have more wisdom than adults.

One of the phrases in the scriptures that I think refers to children, and those who are humble like children is "The first will be last and the last will be first." Matthew 20:15 We have been taught in church that this refers to the gospel being given first to the House of Israel, then the Gentiles, then coming back to the House of Israel before the Lord's coming. As news stories have come out about the corruption and scandals in many organizations, this verse stands out even more to me, and I think it may have more than one meaning.

Those who have been first in the earthly kingdoms, that have red carpet rolled out for them, that glory in the praise of men and seek the corrupted things of this world will be last. Those who obtain power over others by usurping control and position will be undone, exposed. Their hearts will be known. The leaders who control the wealth and corrupt organizations of this fallen world, they will be last in the kingdom of God. The fame and glory of this corrupt world will have no place in the Lord's kingdom that is to come. The vain words of religious leaders that do not personally know the Lord they claim to represent, and build up earthly kingdoms of wealth for themselves while neglecting the poor will be undone. Their deceptions and evil designs will be visible to all.  Their earthly kingdoms will crumble like sand. Only what is righteous, and is worthy of Jesus and His way of reigning will remain. Only those who have truly known the Lord as their personal friend, Deliverer, and trusted Him as their Savior, will be on a solid foundation- in whichever religion they are found. Every other foundation that men depend on will crumble and be washed away. Jesus alone is the sure foundation. All that is unworthy of the Lord and his Heavenly kingdom will be shaken until the only things left standing are the things that can withstand the Lord's coming.

Those who are last, the least of these, in the world's earthly kingdoms will be first in Jesus' kingdom. The poor, the children, especially those who have suffered much and who have loved the Lord. These will be heard, their testimonies of Jesus will be heard. Knowing and loving the Lord is what matters most, and those who have loved him while enduring the crosses of this world will be heard. Jesus knows those in difficult circumstances- those who have been the last to be able to walk, those who have been unable to communicate, those who are the last to be fed, those who have waited years to be healed, those who have been abused and cast out. He has a special love for his children who struggle many years for the blessings most of us take for granted. He knows what they go through. Their tears are turned to joy through Jesus and his love. Their praise, their glory in Jesus will be heard! They will bear testimony of Jesus' deliverance, of his forgiveness, of his amazing love. Some of their prayers that only the Lord could understand will be understood by all. They will sound like angels, praising God. Those who have suffered will tell of how Jesus walked with them when they were alone, despised. They will give testimony of how when no one understood them, Jesus understood them,  forgave them, and healed them.  They will tell of how  Jesus visited them, and that Jesus love is the greatest gift they've ever received. They will dance for you Jesus, and their joy will not be contained. Their praise will be joined by the angels in heaven praising their Heavenly king. Their witnesses of Jesus will be heard, and all will glorify Jesus as our Lord, our Light, our Master Healer and wonder at His many marvelous works and amazing love. Jesus' love, miracles and help in our lives will be revealed. All will bear witness that Jesus has earned the title of Savior. Jesus will be lifted up by all, not on a cross, but this time lifted up in praise and adoration as our King. I can't wait to learn about all the wonderful things Jesus has done, which we only have a small record of so far. I can't wait until all the earth glorifies Jesus.

Am I ready for that day? Imagine that inside of you is a spiritual clothing that covers your spirit. This clothing is your thoughts, your words, your actions. This clothing includes what you think of God, and your relationship with the Lord. It includes how you see others, whether with criticism and contempt or with patience and love. It is everything about you that can't be measured or seen outwardly, physically- it is what is inside your heart and mind. This spiritual clothing may be invisible to us here on earth, but to God and his angels, this spiritual clothing is very visible. When our thoughts are unkind, demeaning of others, it is a stain on us, like dropping a big spoonful of red spaghetti sauce on the front of your white shirt. Mean, judgmental or vulgar thoughts and words have the same effect as pouring a cup of dirt on our clothing. Sometimes these thoughts come from the adversary, but it is up to us whether we give them any room to grow in our mind, or whether they are quickly driven away. Our thoughts are invisible to each other, but to God who sees all, we must look like the toddler who claims to have washed but has dirt all over their hands, face, and clothing. We are all in need of repentance, of seeking Jesus' forgiveness. If my thoughts were a piece of clothing, what color would they be?

One of the aspects of church culture that is so damaging is the emphasis on outward physical appearance and propriety, instead of focusing on having a personal relationship with the Lord and loving others. The problem is thinking that in looking good and outwardly keeping the rules we are right before God, when it is what is inside our hearts that matters most.

My 17 year old son was telling me that he recently watched a video of a teenager who didn't know how to put on a tie for a job interview, and an elderly neighbor helped him. He jokingly told me that one of the benefits of church attendance was learning how to put on a tie, I think he was teasing me to see my response. I told my son that was one of the problems with churches- we know how to look good on Sunday with white shirts and Sunday best, but often that takes the focus away from Jesus, and really coming to Him. If you looked in my closet, a large part of what is there is for dressing well on Sunday or other special occasions. If you looked in my heart, would Jesus be there? Do my thoughts and love for the Lord take up more room than anything else in my heart? If what was in my heart was worn on the outside, what would it look like?

I love Alma's words in Alma 5, this whole chapter is a great one to read to examine ourselves.

"Have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts? Do ye exercise faith in the redemption of him who created you? Do you look forward with an eye of faith, and view this mortal body raised in immortality, and this corruption raised in interruption, to stand before God to be judged according to the deeds which have been done in the mortal body? . . . Can ye look up to God at that day with a pure heart and clean hands?  . . . For there can no man be saved except his garments are washed white; yea, his garments must be purified until they are cleansed from all stain, through the blood of him whom it has been spoken by our fathers, who should come to redeem this people from their sins. . . Behold, he sendeth an invitation unto all men, for the arms of mercy are extended towards them, and he saith, Repent and I will receive you. Yeah, he saith: Come unto me and ye shall partake of the fruit of the tree of life; yea, ye shall eat, and drink of the bread and the waters of life freely; Yea, come unto me and bring forth works of righteousness and ye shall not be hewn down and cast into the fire." Alma 5:14-35

"Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked: I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and annoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see. As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent. Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne." Revelation 3:17-21

Dear Lord, as the earth and all the earthly kingdoms will be shaken before you come, please shake in me all that is not true or worthy of you.  Search my heart, search the dark corners. Reveal to me what is untrue, unworthy of you, in me. Let me see my sins more clearly, those things that offend you. Help me to more fully turn to you and repent. Search out the hidden parts of my heart- the pride, the lusts, the jealousies, the envy, the selfishness, the criticism of others. Help me clean them out as unwelcome house guests. As you cleaned the temple in Jerusalem, help me to drive from my temple the things that defile it. Please fill me with your light, your love, your understanding, your wisdom, your knowledge, your truth. Please show me any false traditions that I hold to that keep me from knowing you more fully. Please make me clean. Please wash me, with your precious blood that was shed for me, please, wash my sins away. Please cover my sins and nakedness with your forgiveness, bought for me at such a terrible sacrifice and cost to you. Help me to love and forgive others freely as you love and forgive me freely. As the earth will shake and tremble, and be cleansed before you come, please cleanse my heart and prepare me for your coming. Please let me depend on and trust in you alone. Lord, you have allowed disappointments in people, organized religions, and earthly organizations,  that I may come to you and see you, Jesus, as the only perfect source of perfect love. That I may find wholeness in you and not in anything of this world. Teach me, help me to see you more. Open my eyes to see your works that are all around me. Wash my eyes, my feet, and all of me that I may see you and glorify you. Please stay near me, and keep me close to you always. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Happy Resurrection Day!

Today we listened to Andrea Bocelli's live Easter concert in the kitchen as my family made food together. In this time of pandemic and worry, Andrea Bocelli's beautiful music is a gift to all of us. It was a personal reminder to me that where there is a hardship, there are also gifts and blessings from God.

A year and a half ago, we were evacuated from our homes due to forest fires. My then 4-year-old with special medical needs felt the evacuation and upheaval more because of the load she already carries. One day during that fire evacuation, I sat on the floor of my parent's home with her as she cried, she didn't want to do her medical care. I was racking my head, trying to think of something to bring a smile to her and praying for help. I stumbled across a funny video of Andrea Bocelli singing a lullaby to Elmo on my phone. I showed it to her and explained that Andrea Bocelli can't see with his eyes. Like her, he was born with something different from most people. I asked her to imagine what it would be like to be blind, how different life would be. How different playing with friends, going shopping, getting food, and getting where you need to go, would be if you were blind. I explained to her that God gave Andrea a gift, a beautiful voice. Wherever there is something difficult, like being blind, God gives a gift to help you through it. Andrea Bocelli has a gift of singing so beautifully, that his music makes people happy. We talked about some of the gifts she has, the happiness she brings others by just being her, and soon she was smiling again. That day of the fire evacuation, I was so thankful for Andrea Bocelli sharing his gift of music, it had made all the difference to my daughter. Thankfully, medical care has gone OK for our daughter during this time. Having all our children home has been fun and challenging at times too, an adventure! Today, watching Andrea Bocelli's Easter 2020 concert, reminded me of the gifts given by God amidst difficulties.

A video call with my family was one of those blessings this morning. I had taken for granted how great it is to see my parents and siblings and talk with them.

What blessings have come to you because of this pandemic? Are there gifts in your life not fully appreciated until now? What are those blessings? Have you written the gifts and blessings down so that you will remember?

Jesus and his resurrection is the gift we celebrate today. It has been wonderful today to focus on Jesus, and his sacrifice and resurrection. In our world where hardship seems to be everywhere, the gift of love from our Heavenly Parents of their son, Jesus, shines like a light to us in our darkness. Jesus has been through our sufferings and He is here to help us through them. His love and example of always serving others bring meaning to suffering. How much His peace and love mean to me! Today I was reminded of Jesus' resurrection and love for us, and that someday those who suffer from pain and difficulties will be healed. Andrea Bocelli will see. Our daughter will be healed. Those whose hearts are broken with loss will be healed, their tears will be turned to joy. All will see Jesus as the Savior and Redeemer that he is. Jesus overcame sin and death so that we might overcome too. He is our Hope, our Light, our Strength, our Healer.

In Jesus' day, a blind man healed by Jesus was cast out of a crowded synagogue for his brave testimony of Jesus (John 9). It is interesting how the situation is reversed today.  Andrea Bocelli, a blind man, testifies of Jesus through music from an empty church while millions of us watched from home, in quarantine. He sang Amazing Grace, "I once was lost, but now I'm found. Was blind, but now I see."  I hope where ever we are we share the greatness of our Jesus and praise Him, with or without having experienced our healing miracle.

The other day, I prayed and asked the Lord about the pandemic. Like many of you, I have been doing extra work- making masks, preparing freezer meals in case we get sick, making sure vitamin and herbal remedies are ready, preparing our garden for planting. With so much to prepare, I asked the Lord what He wanted me to focus on most. The Lord answered me by giving me a glimpse of himself, the night of  His last Passover.

That Passover evening, Jesus knew his trial and crucifixion was at hand, and that things would be much different for his disciples after that night. He focused on strengthening his closest friends. Jesus could have been giving the disciples instructions about temporal, physical preparations to sustain them physically. Instead, Jesus focused on their spiritual needs. He taught his disciples about having peace, unity, love and doing the Father's will. It is amazing to me that on that night, with so much suffering and pain ahead for Him, Jesus focused on serving and strengthening his disciples.  He was not focused at all on himself. Jesus always focused on loving others. Jesus shows us that there is strength in serving and loving others, especially when you are in a trial yourself. Jesus' love is truly a light in the dark, his love is so different from how our sinful world operates. I am so thankful for Jesus, for the constancy of His love. What greater love has ever been shown, that what Jesus has given us! I hope we can return to Jesus the love He so freely gives us, by serving and loving God and each other. Our family has been the recipient of some of that generous love from our neighbors and friends during this pandemic quarantine.

Some of the deepest, most meaningful scriptures to me are John's record of Jesus' teachings that night. One of my favorites is "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27. Jesus gives peace in the middle of chaos.

I am going to go on a tangent here but then bring it back to the main point. Many people believe that Mary Magdalene was Jesus' wife. A man could not teach in the synagogue or temple unless he was married. Being married in the Jewish custom was seen as a mark of adulthood. Jesus was most likely married since he taught in the synagogue and temple. Mary Magdalene is mentioned in every account as a close friend of Jesus. It is to Mary that Jesus first appeared after his resurrection. It makes sense that Mary Magdalene was Jesus' wife.

Going back to the Passover evening before the crucifixion, I believe Mary Magdalene was there at the last supper. Passover was a family event. Mary would be without Jesus' physical support very soon. Beforehand, Jesus likely did the little repairs that needed to be done in their home. Still, Mary would feel so alone with Jesus' death.  When Jesus was gone, Mary would remember Jesus' words, his peace and love for her more than any physical preparations.  Mary would be provided for through miracles in the moment she needed them, just as the children of Israel were. I was reminded of Jesus' mother, Mary, and that as He was dying, Jesus gave John the charge to take care of her. In the moment of her deep sadness and need, the Lord provided for his mother as well. Trust in the Lord's care and provision for you, was the message to me.

When the children of Israel left Egypt, there was a mountain of preparations for such a long journey. None of their preparations could have sustained them through all the trials, through the wilderness for 40 years. Yet the people were provided for by God. Manna, water, quails, not to mention the Red Sea parting and escaping the deadliest plague- all miracles provided by God. That was the point- to realize completely their dependence on God. To return to trusting in God alone, to focus on God for salvation.

We are at that point again, like the children of Israel. In God is our hope, our faith, our light, our strength. Trust in God, his care and his provision for you has been His message to me as I've asked about the pandemic. And to teach my children to trust in God. How thankful I am for the friend we have in Jesus! What a difference knowing Him has made to me! Thank you dear Jesus for your love!

Take Courage Quilt

A couple years ago, I saw some fabric with Bible verses on it at the store. I like sewing so I got it, not knowing what to make. A quilt with the verses in it came to mind, a mountain landscape design. I felt like a pre-schooler making a project. Knowing what a loving Father we have, I knew he would appreciate any attempt to remember Him and his words, even if a preschooler had made it. In cutting the shapes of the leaves and different layers of the landscape, I thought of God creating each of these masterpieces in nature. How much love He put into each blade of grass, each tree, each flower, every cloud, every hill and mountain- all for us. Later I was shown that when the earth was created by our Heavenly Parents, they were creating their altar, the place their sacrifice of their Son would be given. Everything in nature was created with Jesus’ sacrifice in mind, all of it was created to point to Him, and his atoning sacrifice. With all the tiny fabric pieces, I couldn’t sew them together, so I scanned and printed it on fabric through an internet company. It is a comfort to me to see the words of scripture in the quilt when my challenges are too big for me alone. I picture myself in this place. I had not planned on sharing it, but others may take comfort from it. Following I will put the scriptures that are part of the quilt. The scriptures are in italic. Starting at the bottom of the quilt:

Rock- The joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10; I know that my Redeemer liveth. Job 19:25. Jesus is our strength, our Rock, our Redeemer.
Fig Tree- For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16 To me Jesus is the tree of life. I am the way the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except by Me. John 14:6. Jesus is our only way to the Father. If you look closely, you will see figs on the tree.
Meadow- He makes all things beautiful in His time. Ecclesiastes 3:11. Meadow flowers take time to blossom, yet they are intricately and perfectly made. Miracles happen in the Lord’s time and for his glory. For nothing will be impossible with God. Luke 1:37. Things that are impossible to man are possible with God.
River- We walk by Faith not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7 This scripture reminded me of Peter walking on the water with Jesus. As long as his focus was on Jesus, he was able to walk on the water. When his focus changed to the waves, he began to sink. A reminder to me to focus on Jesus.
Hills- They shall call His name Emmanuel which means God With Us. Matthew 1:23 The angels told the shepherds this when they announced Jesus’ birth. "God with us" is also a description of the Lord’s walk with you and me in our challenges. Be still and know that I am GOD. Psalms 46:10 Stillness and trust in God- so overlooked. Often feel like I have to be running to the point of exhaustion before God will help me.  Being still and trusting in Him is something I need to do much more.
Mountains- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phillippians 4:13 The mountains are the challenges we face, Jesus hikes the mountains with us, encouraging and strengthening us. He is our best guide and companion.
Clouds- My soul doth magnify the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior! Luke 1:46 This was Mary’s response when the angel told her she would bear God’s son. Mary’s rejoicing in God’s plan despite the difficulty it would mean for her is inspiring. Do not fear for I AM WITH YOU. Isaiah 41:10. This reminds me that the Lord was with the children of Israel- a cloud by day and a fire by night. He is with us too!
Sky- Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength. Deuteronomy 6:5. God’s love for us is like the blue sky, covering all of us. I hope my love and devotion for God grows to become endless like the blue sky too.

What do you see when you look at nature? What in nature reminds you of the Lord? I would love to hear!

Thoughts on Virus

The father in the movie, "Big Fat Greek Wedding" made us laugh with his favorite cure all- Windex. We all have our own "Windex", our way of dealing with what ails us. When it comes to illness, everyone has their own ideas of what will help- essential oils, herbs, vitamins, supplements, exercise, etc. The corona virus concerns we are facing today won't be over quickly, even with quarantines. It will most likely take at least a couple winters before this virus finishes running its course. We need to be thinking of long term health habits, not just surviving a couple weeks of quarantine. This is going to take some time to go away. Focusing on long term health and healing is our best bet.

What things work for you when you are feeling sick? When you want to heal, what steps do you take? I would love to hear your suggestions. Here are some of the things  we try to teach our kids:
1. Do your very best at staying healthy and then pray and trust God to do the rest. Pray for God's help and protection over your family. God is in control, and He can help each of us through any trial or challenge. Read the stories in the scriptures of God's help and miracles for his children. How did God help them? How has God helped you through the challenges you've faced? I will come back to this a little more at the end of this post. The people in the scriptures were ordinary people like you or me, and the Lord was with them. We have the scriptures so that we can remember the miracles, and have faith that God will help us and be with us too. God's help is often given in the last second, after every other resource has been exhausted. Trust that God will deliver you, even if you can't see a path out of your situation. Look for God's love and blessings around you.
2. Healthy eating. Eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables and whole grains. Pick simple foods closest to their natural state. Eat at least one fresh fruit or vegetable or even better, several, with every meal. The enzymes in raw foods will help you digest your cooked food better. Getting Little Caesar's for dinner? A salad or cut up veggies and fruits on the side will really help! Drink lots of water, water helps everything in your body work better. Avoid sugar as much as possible, especially if you feel illness coming on. Viruses and bacteria grow more quickly in an environment of sugar. If you feel illness starting, avoid things that are hard to digest so that your body won't have to work so hard with digestion, and can have energy to heal itself. Avoid foods high in fat, like fried foods, and avoid excessive meat. These things are harder to digest, and take your body's energy away from healing. Dairy can be hard to digest and cause inflammation for many people, so that may be a food to avoid, especially if you are feeling sickness starting. Fermented dairy products like yogurt and cheese are easier on the stomach than straight milk.
3. Wash your hands every time you come into your home, even if you just went out for a little bit and don't feel like you touched anything dirty. Take your shoes off when you come inside. Wash hand towels frequently, or use paper towels if there is an illness going around. Change clothes and shower when you come into the house if needed.
4. Sleep. Most of us don't sleep enough, yet sleep is what restores the body. When weekends come, let your family catch up on their sleep. We are so busy during the week, most of us don't get the rest we need. Sleep also helps with thinking more clearly. One of the best pieces of advice given to me was from a cardiologist who had adopted many children, several of them with special needs. He said that if his children were giving them trouble, they put them in their room to take a nap. When they felt better, they could come out again. I often remember that advice when one of my children or I are feeling fightful or argumentative. A good nap is like magic. Even if it is afternoon, sometimes it is better to take a nap than to argue and fight through the evening and wait until bedtime. Make rest and sleep a priority.
5. Sunshine- get your vitamin D, it is critical for your immune system.  Even with plenty of sunshine, many of us are deficient in vitamin D, and need a vitamin D supplement. Sunshine is also a great mood booster. Take a walk outside, or just sit in a sunny spot and enjoy looking at the blue sky. Put your bare feet in the grass, get in touch with the earth. Gratitude for the beauty of God's miracles in nature and his creations is healing.
6. Exercise. Go on a walk or a run. Get enough exercise that it energizes you but not so much exercise that it leaves you depleted for the rest of your day. Exercise gets your heart rate going, and cleanses your lymphatic system. If you can't walk, because your back or legs hurt, do arm exercises or leg lifts from a sitting down position. Something is better than nothing! If it is bad weather, do some push ups, squats, arm lifts or other exercise in your home. Turn on a yoga video and do some stretching. Good stretches, like they do in yoga, are like a massage for your internal organs.
7. Vitamins. Vitamin C is so important in fighting illness. If you are recovering from illness, you need much, much more than the recommended daily allowance (RDA). Vitamin C in large doses, can help moderate cytokine storms. A cytokine storm is when the body's response to illness is excessive, causing too much inflammation and mucus production. It can be dangerous, even deadly. There is a lot of research on taking large doses of vitamin C for illness, and is worth looking into. Here is one video on taking Vitamin C. Liposomal vitamin C is the best kind to take if you can find it, and there are tutorials online of making it at home. There are a lot of different types of vitamins out there, and their absorption varies greatly. For example, with Vitamin D, which is needed for healing, there are 3 or 4 different chemical versions of it. Some Vitamin D types have a 4% absorption, others have 50% absorption. You might think you are getting a higher percentage of Vitamin D, when in reality that variety is very poorly absorbed.  Do a little research about vitamin types before you buy one. If you take a multi-vitamin, those made from real, raw fruits and vegetables, are more easily absorbed than those created from chemicals.
8. Be gentle and allow your body time to heal. You can't rush healing. When I was working as a triage nurse at a pediatrician's office, it was very common to have a parent call with a complaint like this, "My child was throwing up for a couple days and feeling so sick. They got better, so we went out to eat, to celebrate their recovery. They threw everything up again. I don't know what is wrong." I would ask, "What did they eat?" and they would reply, "Well, my child loves french fries and hamburgers, so that's what we ate." The body needs more time to heal after an illness. Keep the soft, easy to digest foods for a few days after the symptoms of illness go away. With vomiting, give the tummy a time to rest without food for 2-3 hours after vomiting. Then begin with very small amounts of clear liquid, very gradually increasing the liquid. After tolerating liquid without vomiting for several hours, then start up with small amounts of bland, plain food that is easy to digest. Toast, rice, bananas, applesauce, chicken noodle soup, plain baked potatoes. Give them natural foods in their natural state as much as possible. Do this for a couple days, and slowly go back to their normal diet. Be gentle in allowing a body time to heal. Expect that the need for more rest, sleep and mild nourishing foods will continue several days after the illness. It really is miraculous that God has created our bodies to heal themselves. Be thankful for your body, and the miracle it is.
9. Bone broths. The minerals in bone broth are especially good for your intestinal health. This broth is so mineral-rich, that it is best eaten in amounts of 1 cup or less per day, or diluted in soup. Cook the chicken bones or beef bones in your crockpot with a couple tablespoons of vinegar, and 1-2 tablespoons of salt. Let them cook on the low setting for 2-3 days. When a soup calls for broth, I use bone broth for about 1/3 of the liquid. It is good for anywhere you would use broth- soups, curry, rice, gravy, mashed potatoes.
10. Eat fermented foods with live, active probiotics in them.  Much of the vitamin absorption in your digestive tract depends on the healthy bacteria in your intestines. The good bacteria working on your food make it easier for your body to absorb the vitamins in your food. Some fermented foods with beneficial bacteria in them are yogurt, kefir, kombucha, and fermented vegetables, like kimchi, and natural Sauer kraut. Small, frequent amounts are key here. If you are buying fermented food, the label should say "Contains live, active bacteria". Fermented foods are pretty simple to make at home. This book is great for learning how to make fermented foods.
11. Garlic and other herbs. It is amazing how garlic is something so small and inexpensive yet is so strong and has so many uses. It is great for treating viruses, bacteria, and fungus. Garlic is also good for heart health, and diabetes. Eating raw garlic is where the most benefit is. Finely dice a clove, then put it on a spoon and drop it under your tongue, followed by a drink of water. You will hardly even taste the spiciness. Garlic is super easy to grow. Buy some garlic at the grocery store, and plant the cloves in your garden in the fall, they are ready to harvest in the early summer. Garlic also helps moderate a cytokine storm. Other herbs that can help moderate a cytokine storm are turmeric, ginger, grape leaves and skullcap. The subject of herbs is too big to cover here, but one of my favorite places to learn about herbs is here.
12. Learn to grow and eat sprouts. Sprouts are one of the foods highest in vitamins and minerals, and they are inexpensive and easy to grow. If for a time you can't go to the grocery store, you can still have fresh sprouts to eat, packed with vitamins and minerals. Sprouts only take 3-5 days and a little water to grow. There are different types, some with a little spiciness in them (like broccoli or radish sprouts), or others that are sweet and crunchy (alfalfa). You can also sprout beans and wheat. My kids really love alfalfa sprouts. You can put sprouts in sandwiches, in soup, on rice, or eat them with salad dressing.
13. When using household cleaners, limit the use of strong chemical disinfectants to the surfaces that need it the very most. Soap, hot water, and hydrogen peroxide are good cleaners too and can be used for the majority of cleaning. Overuse of strong chemical disinfectants can cause hormone disruptions and breed superbugs. A little extra elbow grease, hot water, and soap on a washcloth are just as effective.
14. Cultivate a loving, kind spirit. Hidden resentments can keep us from feeling at peace, and being able to fully heal. Pray and ask God to help you mend any broken relationships. Forgive others, remembering that you need to be forgiven as well. Ask for forgiveness if you've hurt someone.  Be kind to yourself in your thoughts. Evaluate your feelings and thoughts. If there are any thoughts or feelings that are judgmental, prideful, then replace them with feelings of kindness, love, and patience. Judgmental, contentious, selfish thoughts are like bad weeds that will grow and take over if you let them. It is so easy to get bitter when challenges come. Train your thoughts to stay positive and to see yourself and others with love and patience. Imagine a sign posted on each of us that says "Under construction. Thank you for being patient with my mess." Find humor in your challenges. A good laugh is priceless. Especially in times of stress or illness, laughter breaks the tension. If some relationships are a constant source of stress or draining demands, distance yourself from them. Make sure that the atmosphere in your heart and your home is peaceful. Do whatever it takes to make your heart and home a healing place. What would increase the peace felt in your home? Is it letting go of some activities? Is it playing uplifting music? Is it taking care of yourself spiritually or physically so that you can be a more peaceful influence in your home? Do you need to organize an area of frequent clutter? Would cleaning out unhealthy food help? Is it time to set limits on the use of electronics? Ask God to help you know what will bring you more peace. Do what you need to, to make your home a peaceful, healing place. Take a look at your life and see what things you can leave out or change so you will feel more at peace.

There is a lot we can do to improve our ability to heal from illness. Most important of all is to stay close to God, the Master Healer. He can tell us what to do, and guide us through these challenges. Praying for our families and loved ones takes on more meaning in situations like this. There is real protection and power in praying with love for each other.

Native Americans taught that wherever there is a problem, the remedy for it is within reach. If you were bit by a snake, the remedy for the snake bite was supposed to be within your reach. I believe that the principle is true, that God always provides the help we need. Sometimes our eyes aren't open to the miracles He gives us. A couple years ago, a fuzzy little plant that looked like a rosette started growing outside our front door. I didn't know what it was. It was a pretty little fuzzy rosebud, and I felt it was special. On a plant walk with an herbalist, I learned this was mullein. It is helpful in treating the conditions our daughter with special needs was born with. It is now one of our favorite herbs. When I see mullein I remember God's love and miracles for my daughter. Pay attention to the plants around you, learn their names and what they do. Many decorative plants, like juniper bushes are wonderful healers as well.  Juniper helps the body get rid of things it doesn't need, like excess mucus.  Look around and see the miracles God has placed in the plants and nature around you. Seeing God's hand in nature helps me remember that He is in control and His ways are better than mine.

Hopefully this virus will bring the best out in people- returning our focus to God, and to helping each other. I hope it will re-center each of us on what matters most in our lives.

A few months ago, I was thinking about the timing of God's miracles. His timing is definitely part of his message. When the Israelites were saved from slavery in Egypt, the Lord saved them time and time again. The 10 plagues, and the Passover were huge miracles. God alone had saved them. When an impassable ocean was in front of the Israelites, and Pharoah's army behind them, the Lord again showed them his love and power. He helped them cross the ocean on dry ground- an unthinkable paradox. Crossing an ocean on dry ground could only be accomplished by God! He showed them that he would take care of their captors that had made them slaves, at whose hands they had suffered so much. The Egyptian army was made powerless by God. The soldiers that had once stood over them with whips became like twigs tossed in the ocean, completely defeated by God's power. When the Israelites wandered in the desert, the Lord also provided. Where there was no food, God provided food from heaven, manna. Where there was no water, God provided water from a rock. It was as if the Lord was trying to teach them to trust Him, even though all physical evidence pointed to their destruction. The Lord told the Israelites to teach their children about these miracles, to not forget their deliverance. Someday the things that cause us fear and worry will also be like twigs in a deep ocean of God's love for us.

What is it that God is trying to teach me about trusting in Him? What lesson is there that God wants me to learn? How many times in the scriptures has the Lord taken an impossible situation, and made a miracle out of it? A miracle that only He could do because he is our Creator, our Father.

When Daniel was put into the lion's den for praying to God instead of bowing to the king, his destruction seemed to be in his immediate future. What were his thoughts as he was being led to the den of hungry lions? There were many days before that night in the lions den where Daniel was the subject of criticism, scorn, rejection, and felt abandoned by man. His trust was in God alone. The Lord sent an angel and stopped the mouths of the lions for Daniel. Trust in God seemed to be the message. I think that even if Daniel had been killed by lions, he still would have praised God.

When Daniel's friends, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were put into the fiery furnace for not worshipping a gold statue of the king, surely there were some who thought, "They got what was coming to them! We are not surprised at all that this is their end!" When Neubchadnezzar asked them who would deliver them, they answered, "Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king. But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image" (Daniel 4:17) But their God saved them, in the last minute. His timing was part of the message again. They were not saved while they were being tied up, or while they were held captive in the prison. God did not stop them from being thrown into the fire. But the Lord saved them IN the fire. God was with them, IN the fire. Can you imagine their thoughts as they are being tied up, and bound so that they can be put in the fire? Did it seem that the enemy had won at that moment? God is amazing in his works and miracles. God saves his children, in his timing, in his way.

Does it ever feel that you are in an impossible situation? If you feel like you are in the fire, look for God's love and power to be close by.  That is where God and His salvation comes in, you are his child. "Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me." Isaiah 49:16. Do you trust God will deliver you?

One of my favorite stories is of Esther. She came out of humble beginnings, an orphan, and her people were captive. She was chosen to become queen. Wicked Haman sought for power, and for the destruction of the Jews. Esther's uncle, Mordecai, encouraged her to go before the king to plead for her people to be saved from destruction. "For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father's house shall be destroyed; and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" Esther answered, "Go gather together all Jews that are present in Shushan, and fast ye for me, and neither eat nor drink three days, night or day; I also and my maidens will fast likewise; and so will I go unto the king, which is not according to the law; and if I perish, I perish." Esther 4:14,16.  I love this clip that demonstrates her courage and faith in God, it is from the movie about Esther, "One Night with the King." God saved his people again. Their prayers and fasting were answered.

Tomorrow (March 10) is Purim, the day Esther is remembered and celebrated by Jews. Like Esther was bold in approaching the king, be bold in approaching our Heavenly Father in prayer. Pray for the safety of your family and loved ones. God hears and answers prayers.

My testimony of God's love is that He is really with us, in our challenges. As our Father, he stands closest to us when we feel alone, and need his help the most. His power, love and grace are most manifest when we are at our lowest. He knows what it feels like to be alone, because He suffered for us, being alone. That is surely the most loving thing ever done for us. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13. It is in our challenges that we see how deep his love is, and how mindful he is of every detail. How great is our God!

Christmas Gifts

A few years ago, we visited a friend in a nursing home around Christmas time. When we came to his door, he had pulled the blankets up over his head. He hadn't gotten dressed for the day, he was in his garments. He said he wished Christmas would just pass him by this year. After some big health challenges, he was in a wheelchair. His wife had passed away a few months earlier. Family relationships with some of his children were strained. He didn't want to be in a nursing home. Christmas felt much different than the one seen in Christmas cards for him. We talked for a bit, and after a few minutes, he was looking for something to make my children smile. He showed them the little trinkets in his room and asked them to push the button on the singing stuffed animal. They laughed together, children have the gift to bring smiles to those around them. His wife had been a good friend to many in our neighborhood and had left many friends. We left because some of his other friends came to visit.

For many, the holidays are a stark reminder that not all in their life is merry and bright. We all know people whose challenges and heartaches come into painful focus with holiday expectations. The elderly dealing with loneliness and declining health, those struggling with isolating mental illness, the family grieving the death of their child, the hardworking parents waiting for a job to pan out, the family going through a heartbreaking divorce, the orphans who wish only for a family, a child or adult dealing with lifelong health challenges, those far from home serving in the military or on missions, the caregiver that is worn out. Holidays can bring a mix of happy and sad emotions to many.

The last couple of years our daughter that needs daily medical care has felt a difference in the air at holiday time.  During the holidays she is easily triggered by little things that normally don't bother her so much. She is already handling so much with her daily health care, the increased stress of the holidays is felt more. There are more tears, more running away crying. More questions like, "Why are we gone from home so much?" and "Why do I have to do the things I don't want to do? (medical care)" I struggle to find answers for her. I have to keep the holiday preparations simple so that I can be calm, and be there for her. We have tried lots of things to deal with the emotional questions- looking at pictures of when she was born and explaining the medical side, watching videos of other children with challenges, making a card or painting for someone else, watching funny videos, and lots of arts and crafts.

A few days ago I was struggling to answer her questions, "Why?" The thought came to tell her about the Garden of Eden. In the Garden of Eden,  Adam and Eve had only beautiful plants and trees. God was there, they could see Him and talk to Him. Fruits grew on trees, and everything was peaceful and good. After Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden, not all the plants were good. Outside of the Garden of Eden, the good and bad plants grew together. Adam and Eve had to learn to pick the good. Like the prickly weeds in our garden, the bad plants just come up along with the good plants. When we go back to Heaven, it will be only good, beautiful things. Because Heaven is where God lives. But here on earth, the good and bad are mixed together. We can learn to tell the difference between good and bad, and choose what is good. We can learn to hear Jesus' voice again and talk with Him again. After the difficult questions and tears, she bounces back to her cheerful, smiling, joking 5-year-old self. I am amazed at how quickly she recovers, and at how happy and confident she is. Those conversations pull at my heart. I don't bounce back as quickly from having to answer the hard questions about the unfairness of life to a little child.

The fluff of holiday expectations is stripped away when dealing with more difficult issues.  I ask myself,  what is this Christmas season really about? It is about love. Not the decorations, not the parties, not the food, not the gifts we buy.

The first gift of Christmas was pure love from our Father and Mother in Heaven- it was baby Jesus. That gift of love changed the world forever. Jesus was born to be our Heavenly Father and Mother's sacrificial lamb, to atone for our sins. How difficult it must have been for them to watch their son be crucified, how much love for us that had to take. Jesus came to give us forgiveness, the ability to change, to become clean and whole again. Jesus came to show us how to love, how to forgive. He came to walk with us in our challenges so that we wouldn't be alone in finding our way. He came to show us the way, to be our way.

Jesus came to be with the elderly man, so he wouldn't be alone in a nursing home.  He came to cry with family grieving for their lost child, and to give them hope of a resurrection that would last forever. Like he did for Mary and Martha when their brother Lazarus died. He came to give love and compassion to those suffering with mental illness. Jesus came to be a Father to the fatherless, to be their loved one when they had none. The man waiting to be healed at the pool of Bethesda had no family, no one, to lift him into the water to be healed. Jesus saw him and lifted him up, and healed him. Jesus came to give hope and faith to the family that is without a job. Jesus filled the nets of the fishermen disciples just as they heading back to shore after a long night of work, without any fish to show for it. Jesus provides for those who love him.

He came to give love, encouragement and peace to his son or daughter that is going through a divorce. Jesus sees the heartache of each of us. Jesus came to walk with my little child with difficult medical needs.

Jesus came to give help and strength to each of us in our challenges. Jesus walks with us not only in a figurative sense, but in a literal sense. That is who He is. What a difference his love has made to me.  My trials have brought me to Him, without the humbling experiences, I might not have seen his love all around me. His love has truly changed the world!

 When we are going through a trial, only He truly understands and loves us perfectly. Jesus said "I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing" John 15:5. He is the vine, we are the branches. Without being connected to Him, we are without life, without hope, we are nothing. Help from loved ones and friends is a treasure, and many times our loved ones are an answer to prayer. Still, their love doesn't come close to the understanding, peace, and love that comes from Jesus directly to us.  How thankful I am for Jesus' help in my life!

How ironic it is that many of us believe Jesus loved us enough to die for us, but we also believe he is far away from us. We think of Him as far away, up in Heaven somewhere, too busy with more important things to be involved in our lives. If you think about it for a minute, you can see the contradiction here. If you loved someone enough to die for them, wouldn't you be 100% interested and involved in their life? Somehow we believe that we are unworthy of Jesus' love and that Jesus is very far away. Those thoughts come from the adversary. Jesus willingly went through that terrible sacrifice, because in His eyes, we are worth it. He doesn't love us because we've earned his love through good behavior, He loves us because that is who He is. Jesus not only sacrificed his life for each of us, but would help us through anything we have to go through, and literally be with us as our best friend. Jesus puts his arm around us and comforts us in our trials.  He does not leave us alone. He does not delegate our deepest needs to others, even church leaders, Jesus himself is our shepherd.

When our daughter was about 3 years old, she often woke up saying Jesus was with her in her dreams. I asked her what Jesus was doing when he was in her dreams. She said Jesus would hold her and help her go to sleep.  What a huge comfort it was to me that with all the medical stuff she had to go through, she was a calm and content baby, she slept so soundly. The only times she didn't sleep was when she was sick. I believe she was telling the truth, she was too little to make it up. I believe Jesus really was with her, helping her fall asleep, so that we could both rest. That is the Jesus I love, the one that wants to be with us, and help us daily.

A couple years ago, our child with special medical needs had a very difficult test to go through. She was 3 at the time. We knew what was coming, because she had this test before, and she'd screamed for the entire 45 minutes last time. We prayed as a family for her the night before, and prepared as best we could- treats, a soft blanket, a teddy bear. She was old enough we could communicate with her, and I hoped she could understand. I thought this time would be easier. The hospital had a music therapist come and play her guitar and sing gently to her. But it was still a very difficult test. She cried and screamed almost the entire test, and fought against the nurses like a little tiger. As she was crying, clinging to me, I looked up and silently asked, "Where are you, God? I thought you were going to help us!" In my mind, I heard his gentle words to me, "I am. I am helping you." As the test finished, they told us that the results were good, better than the last time she took the test. No further interventions would be needed at the time. Even though it had been difficult, God did not leave us alone, He had been with us. she is doing so well, and we thank God for the progress she is making. The progress she is making is miraculous. She is doing so great!

Another name for Jesus is Emmanuel- it means "God with us" (Matthew 1:23). He really is with us. Emmanuel is not only a long ago angelic proclamation but a real-life description of His love and companionship with us. He tells us "I will go before your face. I will be on your right and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up." (D&C 84:88)

Isaiah also tells us about Jesus love for us. His words became part of the song "How Firm a Foundation". Jesus himself is our firm foundation, not anything else. "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness . . . For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; for I will help thee. Fear not, thou worm Jacob, and ye men of Israel; I will help thee, saith the Lord, and thy Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel" Isaiah 41:10-14. He continues in chapter 43 vs 1 "But now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not; for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee; when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour; I gave Egypt for thy ransom, Ethiopia and Sebba for thee. Since thou was precious in my sight . . . Fear not; for I am with thee." Did you catch how many times the Lord tells us to fear not, and that He is with us?

Have you felt Jesus with you, fulfilling his promise to you? Have you seen the love He is showing you personally? How can we more fully receive the gift Jesus is this Christmas? Can we believe Him more, when He says He is with us?

At Christmas, with all the commercialism and encouragement to give many gifts, I wonder "What can I give that would have any meaning?" Often I am too tired to give anything that wouldn't feel insignificant. It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the only valuable gifts are those that can be purchased, or experienced physically- the food, the parties, the entertainment, the decorations. Hopefully, we can recognize the more important gifts that aren't physical.

I can give love. I can give understanding, compassion, and patience, as each person is dealing with big challenges. I can see the goodness in them, and love them where they are. Just as Jesus loves me where I am, and teaches me at my level. Often I am wrong, my sins and pride make a mess of things, but Jesus loves me and sees the good in me anyways. With Jesus, He always gives correction, which I am in much need of, but He gives an abundance of love too.  I can love others as Jesus loves me, that is what He asks of me. "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another" John 13:34. I can be thankful for the people I know, love them where they are, not waiting to love them until they see things from my point of view. The gifts of friendship, of forgiveness, of love are gifts I can give. These are meaningful gifts.

I struggle to keep love deep enough in my heart that it doesn't fly out the window at the first contrary thing or challenge of patience. Charity, the pure love of God, seems the most fleeting, yet it is the most important of the virtues or gifts. Maybe that is why we need to focus on it. In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul gives a great lesson on the pure love of God, charity. "Though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. . . And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity." Without charity, all other gifts fail. All efforts are meaningless without love, pure love. Moroni tells us "Pray unto the Father with all energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God" Moroni 7:48.

Holidays bring challenges for so many that carry heavy burdens. We can give love, patience and understanding to each other. And point everyone to Christ, the only one who truly understands and loves perfectly. He is our Saviour. Jesus is the gift we celebrate! The Lord told me once, to fill my cup with His love, so that I can give my loved ones from the love He has given me.  I hope I can focus on giving true love, like Jesus' love freely given to me. What a gift of love our Jesus has given to us! Thank you Jesus for your perfect love for us all! You are our Shepherd, our King, our Saviour!

Below is a link to a beautiful video and song about how Jesus is with us.

David Phelps, The Name Lives On. Clip by Produtora Inspire